Between Life and Living
by Panic Abandon
Summary: Months after losing the former part of team seven to a war, Sakura Haruno has resolved to secluding herself from the world that has done her the ultimate unkindness; that is, until a certain dark haired artist enlightens her to another side. A/U & GORE
1. Didn't You Know?

**Between Life and Living**

**Chapter One: Didn't You Know…?**

"_Naruto!"_

"_S-Sakura…"_

"_Sasuke…"_

"_Go on…live,"_

**XxX**

Sakura Haruno bent forward to gaze at the porch ground with unseeing, dull green eyes, a glass of sake grasped firmly between her hands. The comforting warm buzz from tonight's round of alcohol had already begun to simmer, leaving her dispassionately in the wake of its lasting effects.

She was sobering, and she hated it.

Everything she meant to forget, if for no more than an hour or so, was flooding back to her like water through a broken dam. Sakura's nails tapped against the glass absently, and she tilted it sideways to allow the clear liquid to spill out onto the porch.

_Looked like water; about as potent as it, too._

An inebriated smile pulled up on the corners of her lips, as a warm sensation flushed her cheeks a drunken rouge. Her body felt comfortably exhausted, though she'd barely lifted a finger today. Sakura barely did anything anymore, since she had announced her retirement as a shinobi to her surrogate mother and former shishou. The woman had practically raised her as her own, after the loss of her parents, and went on to teach her everything she knew.

_And still…_

On that day, Sakura had handed in her hitai-ate and medical paraphernalia, promptly receiving an earful from the blonde woman, but the pinkette had blatantly ignored her. It'd hadn't been a kind thing to do, but it was all she could manage in order to avoid a confrontation that would ultimately leave her in tears, inside the Godaime Hokage's arms for the fifth time that week. Sakura was no stranger to such a weakness, but crying was something she had sworn she'd abandoned in the former; yes, tears were definitely unwelcome in the life she'd rebuilt in those previous three years.

It had been a long while since another three years had gone by, but Sakura was still only going through the motions of everyday life, only leaving the factual comfort of her home to thrust herself into the outside world when it was mandatory.

Because life had continued to move on, to where she could not; defiantly, _would_ not.

Those who would pass her in the streets of Konoha, shinobi or civilian, were very familiar with her, and upon encounter, would often pause for a wave. Sakura would return the favor, but the gesture was awkward and mechanical; she had no idea how to make it seem genuine, let alone feel real. Everything was a difficult task, down to the mere process of simply walking down the street with one foot in front of the other, or even managing a two second smile. These disabilities were all so disconcerting and frustrating, Sakura began to wonder if she was even human anymore. Being around others was much like operating under water, and only in the comfort of her lonesome, was she able to pull the plug on the drain and sigh in quiet relief behind closed doors.

This was an everyday routine; and it was only growing worse.

The sharp shatter of a hundred tiny crystals snapped Sakura out of the remains of her drunken state. Moments before, but paying no mind, she had felt the glass object slip from her loosening grip. Warily, she dropped her gaze from the starless, obsidian night sky, to stare down at the glittering shards bathed by moonlight near her feet. The pink haired woman's head began to swim and her frame of vision tilted as she struggled to focus on the individual pieces, through her mind was hardly up for what it discursively thought was intricate concentration. The rest of her body groaned in protest, as Sakura slid out of the white wicker chair and onto her knees. Sharp glass bit into her skin, but she hardly noticed.

The drunken flush had faded from her cheeks, returning her complexion to its natural, porcelain hue. She was fully aware of what her own intentions were now, albeit the fleeting cold pang of fear that sent a tremor through her thin, fragile frame. Too-slender fingers twitched toward the largest shard among the broken glass, and lifted the piece by its sharpest edge.

Sakura held the sliver between her fingers, and a small, surprised moan fell from her lips while she watched in morbid fascination as the knifelike edge cut into the soft pad of her index finger. A shaky breath was released in the anticipation of her own actions, turning the glass between her fingers for a better hold as she lowered it down to its destination. Emerald eyes consumed the offered moonlight, taking on a smoldering, excited glimmer once they set on the arm now extended before her. Fingers flexed, wrist bending tentatively.

Could she do it?

_No, she must._

All of those times, where her thoughts had only gone through the motions, and she'd only gotten by with a few superficial wounds, she had never even fathomed past this point of the lethal process. Anything beyond this point would deem terminal, and that should have been fine, but for some reason…it wasn't.

Why? What reason was there left for her to be alive? For _them_…for _their_ last smiles, and their last breaths. For every unspoken wish she'd promised she would fulfill, as she watched the light of life leaving their eyes.

A sacrifice had been made in exchange for the continuation of her very existence, but _didn't _they know it would be a lonesome one? _Didn't_ they know that she would need them?

_Didn't they know that…_

Well, they _would_ know. She would be sure to tell them.

Sakura willed her vision to refocus on the uninjured arm that still held in wait before her. The creamy, pale flesh glowed alabaster under the moonlight, and she watched it ripple slightly with another flex of her wrist. Carefully, she lowered her un-endangered hand down slowly. The arm holding still suddenly began to tremble, despite the amount of control she successfully held the rest of her body under. The preying appendage grasping the broken glass suddenly did not feel like her own, and Sakura silently struggled to stifle an alarmed scream slowly crawling its way up the back of her throat. Emerald, luminous eyes widened in sheer trepidation as the crystal's jagged edge descended to the thin flesh of her wrist to gently probe at a visible vein, like a predator innocently provoking its prey.

_It will be okay,_ she told herself without a clue as to why the small assurance was even necessary. Sakura could name a thousand things, minus the threat of death, that were worse than the little pain that she was about to endure. Though she was a medic and knew of lesser fashions, she subconsciously resolved that this had to be the way it was done. _For reasons, _was the only explanation she would give herself.

_It just cannot be any other way…_

Sakura continued to probe at the tiny vein, barely shown blue under the translucence the spherical glowing orb in the sky had given her flesh. Her lips mashed together as she hardened the pressure, and the glass bit down.

Harder.

And harder, until the skin was finally broken.

Sakura was prepared for anything except for the small cry of almost-pleasure that she felt from already parting lips. This was nothing like the sweet, fleeting superficial scrapes that lesser objects would faintly leave to scar and remind her of the next day. The sound was followed by a breathy sigh as her eyes stared on while her hand continued its task of administering the morbidly pleasurable pain. With the jagged edge well-embedded into her skin, she guided the glass piece across her wrist, her gaze unbreakable even at the side of tearing flesh. The panging metallic scent hit her nose, causing it to wrinkle slightly. Crimson life flowed freely from the mangled appendage, and Sakura jerked her unwounded hand away from the bloodying scene, fingertips soiled and twitching as they dropped the offending stained glass among its more pure fragments.

Sakura stared at the self-infliction, momentarily finding her inner shinobi to go on autopilot and wander to the abnormal expanse of her mind, to confirm with herself that she'd done everything properly. The sight of the still flowing crimson brought her back, and the fingers of her predator hand gently caressed and pulled streaks of it down to her inner form arm. The mere alacrity of the action had Inner Sakura finally screaming at her to stop it now, but the current Sakura dominating was too far gone, and her other half silently withdrew with unspoken knowledge that it was now much too late.

With the war within her mind finally quieted, Sakura allowed her lacerated wrist to fall limply in her lap. Smears of the terminal deed painted onto the porcelain skin of her thigh, but her mind was too far beyond any state of shock to really notice. "I'll be home soon," was the only intelligent thought that had managed to pass through her lips, before a familiar voice ghosted close to her ear.

"_Sakura…" _

Tears stung the former kunoichi's eyes as she heard her name being spoken faintly on the wind. "Soon," she repeated, lifting her head to whisper into the darkness.

"_Sakura…"_ the voice on the wind called again, an edge this time to its hushed timber. The voice was familiar, and her bewildered mind gave her every reason to believe that it should be. Sakura raised her unruined hand to rake fingers in her pink hair, pulling through short, silken locks and leaving coppery streaks in their wake.

"_Sakura,"_

"I'm coming, damnit!" there was a humorous edge to her voice. They were impatient, she entertained, but in all actuality, it was the fact that Sakura was slowly becoming delirious.

The tainted hand fell limply into her lap beside the one that weakly refused to move. No pain; no hurt. Just simple, unresponsiveness. Her eyes trained on the gory scene without a blink, as a certain figure shrouded in darkness eased up the steps of the porch. Her gaze rose an inch and came to focus on the two feet of her last visitor, eyes staring on with heavying lids.

"Sakura…what have you done?" the voice was male, and indeed familiar. The pinkette swayed and began to nod off, but her body jerked up as if in struggle grasp onto consciousness. The figure knelt down carefully before the injured girl and the pile of broken glass between them.

A pair of gloved hands suddenly cradled her face as Sakura began to close her eyes. Tired lids closed over dulling green orbs, giving her just one bleary glimpse of dark hair; a pale face.

"S-Sasuke…" the demising pinkette whispered, before falling unconscious into waiting open arms.

The silver-haired man pulled the girl close into his chest, and then looked with one visible, obsidian eye to the younger male standing on the steps beside him. A silent, two second conversation went on between the pair, before the eldest finally nodded.

"Of course," replied the calm, detached voice of the dark-haired shinobi. He took his leave into the darkness.

Kakashi Hatake stared down begrudgingly at the stained glass on the ground, before lifting his grown, pink-haired student over one shoulder and hastily following suit.

**XxX**

**A/N: **So uh,...let me know what cha think? For the most part, the dark stuff is over, except for maybe some flashbacks...from this point on,expect to see some lighter things...

**Smiles~**


	2. We Can't Save Everyone, But

**A/N: **_HERE'S MY DISCLAIMER_**: ****I DO NOT OWN NARUTO! NOT MAKING MONEY BY WRITING THIS STORY!**

Sorry, I just had to get that out of the way, before I got down to business here. Didn't write it in the first chapter, which I don't want to be yelled at for…Anyway, this is the second chapter of '**Between Life and Living**'. I'm glad to have received some feedback on the first! Thank you so much ^^'

That makes me so happy! Here is your reward!

_Enjoy~_

**Between Life and Living**

**Chapter 2: ****We Can't Save Everyone, But…**

"_Dan!"_

"_Ts-Tsunade…"_

"_We can't save everyone, but…"_

**XxX**

The shadows of two apprehensive figures loomed over a hospital bed, as several nurses clad in white uniforms scrambled about inside the miniscule ER room. The elder figure, a silver-haired male well into his thirties, leaned against the cold, bare wall with a small orange book in hand. All apportionment of whatever expression he wore was currently either concealed by the dark mask on his face, or the smutty paperback he was holding in front of him. The deafening, otherwise silence that surrounded them kept them tight-lipped and observant. The nurses were loud in their frantic fumbling, but no voices filled the room.

Across from the older man, at a close but comfortable distance, stood a younger shinobi. A white ANBU mask painted with a mouse-like face completely disguised the impassive, blank countenance beneath it, until a nurse hurried by and briefly asking that it be removed. Sai silently complied, having no qualms about respecting his elders, despite ANBU's protocol which inhibited all its members from revealing their physical identities. As the dark-haired nin slid the painted mask from his face, his opaque orbs darted unblinkingly to his partner, who tilted his head in the direction to his left, unruly silver spikes slightly sweeping the frame of the door as he made the brief gesture.

The younger man sauntered languidly away from the place where he stood, and the short distance was closed between then. Howbeit, without another word, the two stared on in mutual laconism as the frantic, nightmaric scene continued to play out before them.

"Wrap those bandages tighter!" a voice rang out suddenly, but where the panicked nurses jumped in bewilderment, the elite shinobi did not. The equally distressed assistant of the Godaime Hokage, who had exclaimed and broke the silence, began to pace around the room and weave through the scatter of bustling nurses. The best of the best had been brought in, sent for in the middle of the night in regards to the unforeseen situation. Even with this knowledge, and the unrelenting medic team clearly doing their best, it was clear as day that Shizune was no less discouraged than she had been the moment the news had been relayed to her. If anything, the Hokage's personal assistant was just as, if even more so, foul-mooded than the blonde barbaric woman herself.

_And speaking of that woman…_

"Shizune!"

All heads turned attention to the front of the room.

The Godaime stood at the entrance, gripping the doorframe something fierce until the wood began to crack and splinter under the monstrous amount of pressure. Liquid amber orbs narrowly surveyed the room, reflecting immense disappointment at what was currently taking place.

Kakashi warily sidestepped and ducked down promptly, to avoid the ageless woman's fist suddenly swinging out to slam a dent into the wall where his head had been, all the while his visible eye never leaving the page in his book. All irritation vanished from Shizune's demeanor, seemingly having become absorbed by the blonde woman's all-consuming rage. The dark-haired woman relented in her excessive pacing, and paused to regard the last Senju.

"Lady Tsunade…"

A silent exchanged through a heavily strained silence seemed to go on briefly between them at that moment. Shizune's obsidian orbs widened considerably as the mute confrontation neared an end, but Tsunade raised a hand to silence her before her thoughts could become verbal. The blonde warily shifted her gaze to the ruinment of the pinkette being tended to, staring on for a lingering minute before she straightened up, body language somewhat betraying that the gruesome scene had shaken her.

Shizune captured the woman's gaze the moment it strayed back to her waiting impatient expression. A pleading look contorted her meek features; especially in her eyes. The unacknowledged others in the room shifted uncomfortably in the thick tension, until Tsunade sighed inaudibly, clicking her tongue softly as an afterthought.

A brief moment, and then she finally spoke. "All medics not specifically trained under Shizune or myself are now dismissed". Her tone was devoid anything near a touch of emotion. She turned to avoid the gaping look of disbelief on her assistant's face.

Shizune shot a frantic look at the medic team, before drawing her bottom lip between her teeth and chewing it anxiously. "Lady Tsunade…"

Tsunade briefly regarded the misplaced shinobi in the room, but before she could fix them with one of her infamous threatening looks, the two took their leave without a word. The chuunin level medics also filed out behind them, not daring to question the adamant authority of the elite medic kunoichi. Once they were gone, and only Shizune, herself, and their comatose patient remained, Tsunade closed the door and leaned against it dejectedly.

A short moment of quietness passed between them before the Hokage crossed her arms around her green-robed form, and lifted expectant eyes to the woman in front of her. Quietly, she asked her to relay the details. After explaining the situation and viewing Sakura's medical chart, Tsunade hastily assessed the severity of the injury, and gave a curt nod before making her way to her former student's bedside. The girl was more pale and ill-looking than Tsunade had remembered in the last few months she had seen her. As a medical professional, Tsunade knew health was _very_ important, and despite her minute opportunities to confront the retired kunoichi, she had regretfully neglected to follow through. Tsunade shamed herself for not properly taking Sakura's poor self-keeping into more solemn consideration. Sakura had been through so much these past three years, but no one had ever fathomed she had begun to treat her own life with such reckless care. According to her medical report, there was alcohol currently in system. _When did Sakura begin drinking?_ Another bad affair that Tsunade could only blame herself for.

After the pinkette had made her resolve and retired, Tsunade thought she had done the respectful thing to give Sakura the space she required, in hopes that she just might come around after she'd had some time alone; to herself. She, almost more than anyone else, had understood the difficult time that Sakura was enduring after the loss of her loved ones in the events of the recent war. Shortly after Sakura had left her office, Tsunade found herself reflecting on her own past. Memories of desperate attempts to revive a loved one with the sharply honed skills of medical ninjutsu wracked her mind. Every lost life had felt like a personal failure, and every failure reminded her that her abilities could only overcome so much. She was only a medic; only a person. Her vast knowledge and her expert skill in healing others were all but useless in the face of death.

It seemed at the time, that Sakura was willing to come to terms with that, though no doubt it had been something difficult to accept in the moment of it all. Tsunade had wondered if her quiet words of understanding had done anything at all to comfort her student, in the same way that the soothing words of her own friends had brought to her.

Now she knew; perhaps they'd been completely ineffective, after all.

The Hokage regarded her ill surrogate daughter with a bleary, tearful gaze, before her eyes became downcast and she forced herself to straighten. "Shizune…" she said, her voice an octave above a whisper. Shizune lifted her head, having been re-evaluating Sakura's current condition when the blonde spoke.

With a soft sigh, she folded the page over and set the clipboard on the counter behind her. "Lady Tsunade…are you sure you want…to do this?"

Tsunade was more than sure. As she touched the pad of her index finger to the small, violet rhombus shape on her forehead, she solemnly entertained the idea of what was about to be done; her eyes became unfocused. The blonde stared on intently at the blurred image of coral and porcelain until a drop of moisture fell from her eye and rolled down her cheek. Tsunade wiped the stray tear before it could hit the floor.

Shizune felt something somber inside of her suddenly begin to uncoil; something she hadn't felt in years, and she knew it had undoubtedly been triggered by the long-suppressed tears of her closest friend. Tears nearly sprang to her own eyes, but she forced them back with the resolve that there could not be two emotionally distraught medical nin in a room with a dying patient, let alone the best two.

"Tsunade…" Shizune mumbled, dropping off the usual, formal title. For, in this moment, the woman shedding silent tears in somber abandon was not, '_Hokage'_. Not, '_Princess'_, not '_Sannin'_. She was simply Tsunade; another kunoichi reflecting on her tragic past. The dark-haired woman remained quiet when she was not acknowledged, until finally the blonde wiped her tear-stained face and righted herself. Tsunade's new body language told of something different from what it had previously betrayed. The woman now standing over the bed of her ailing patient was now Hokage. She was now the Medical Sannin, and the last of the Senju clan that carried on the burning Will of Fire for her village. Her calm mask had been replaced, and now her resolve had been made.

For Sakura.

For her brother, her lover and every life she had so regretfully failed in saving.

With a small nod more to herself than her assistant, Tsunade extracted a small scroll from the inner part of her foresty green robes and tentatively began to pull it open. Shizune's breath audibly hitched as the context written inside began to glow a soft, luminous green, but the blonde paid it no mind.

A small, hopeful smile curled onto the Senju's lips as the diamond on her forehead began to glow. Sakura Haruno's life was about to change in ways she couldn't fathom. And this, was only just the beginning.


	3. Rebirth: Part 1

**Between Life and Living**

**Chapter 3: ****Rebirth (Part One)**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, nor am I making money by creating this fanfiction. It is strictly a past time (:

**A/N: **Chapter 3 of "**Between Life and Living**" has now arrived! Sorry it took so long. Surprisingly I was not in a funk, but I've been sort of busy, bleh. This story is going very smoothly in my mind –knock wood- and so far I think I will be able to write it just as smoothly (: I'm feeling especially happy today, so I might even post chapter 4 tonight! We'll see…no promises, but it's probable.

Enjoy  
>~<p>

**XxX**

_Flashback_

"Where…Where is that voice coming from?" a hazy fog misted around the unknown atmosphere, until a recognizable area came into view, though it still lingered around the edges of Sakura's obscured vision.

A memory.

_She saw herself first, and then the three of them. _

_Her pink hair was cropped the same way as its current fashion, fluttering in the afternoon breeze and over her shoulders as she settled herself between her two team mates. Sasuke at her left, impossibly more arrogant and handsome, and Naruto, slightly more mature and noticeably taller at her right. The trio all sat on a barstool at Ichiraku Ramen, the murmur of idle chit-chat filling the streets behind them._

"_Ramen's on me," announced the happy shop owner, as his daughter set a bowl in front of each other them. A fox-like grin lit Naruto's face, followed by a small, hearty chuckle before he dug in._

_Sakura remembered that smile; she remembered this day._

_In this very moment, they were celebrating their official new rank as jonin. From the very beginning of their training since becoming chuunin, Naruto and Sasuke had made it a very prominent point to outdo each other as much as possible, but over the years, they'd become evenly matched. As for Sakura, she had done her part in training hard and staying close enough within her team mates' league. She was pleased with the results of her work, and made sure to never allow anyone to tell her that she was weak. Not even Sasuke could agree with that statement anyone, after the countless number of times he had been knocked on his ass by the kunoichi's lethal, chakra-enhanced punches._

_So here they all were, smiles large or small etched onto their faces as they enjoyed their meal on a nice, warm evening. They all remained quiet, aside from the idle banter between Sasuke and Naruto, namely over the usual, frivolous argument._

"_Chidori is clearly better than Rasengan," Sasuke insisted, poking a string of noodles into his mouth with his chopsticks. Sakura sighed inwardly as Naruto brought his bowl to his mouth and began to slurp rather loudly while turning daggered eyes on Sasuke who sat next to her; a sound he was all too aware that irked the raven._

_The anticipated twitch of the Chidori-user's brow brought a pleased grin to the blonde's lips, and without a word, he continued slurping and then set the bowl down on the table with a contented sigh. "I don't know about that, Sasuke. My chakra nature is wind. So, of course Chidori will never stand a chance,"_

"_Hn," was the Uchiha's dissatisfied response, and then a small smirk came to his face. "Well, it's useless against all of my fire style jutsu. What do you think of that, idiot?"_

_Naruto's mouth twisted into a frown at the truth in Sasuke's words. Whenever they would spar with each other, and Sasuke found himself in a rut when using the Chidori, he would whip out the occasional fire jutsu, or as a last resort, the Sharingan. The Sharingan, Naruto claimed, was not fair game, seeing as how well Sasuke had honed his bloodline limit over the past five years. Sakura often became the unofficial referee in these rambunctious training session, calling time when either of them got too overworked. All in all, they were very much evenly matched. It wasn't too frequent that one of them would be left standing at the end of the session, without panting and heaving in exhaustion._

_A frown marred seventeen year-old Sakura's features as the small banter progressed into a full-blown argument. Her hand fisted around her wooden chopsticks until they broke into two with an audible snap._

"_Enough," she growled, quickly claiming the boys' attention. Ayame, the waitress, silently hesitated before replacing the broken utensils with a new set as Sakura had yet to even touch her food. Sasuke and Naruto leaned over to survey their female team mate's expression, deciding on whether or not it meant they were about to receive a lecture and/or a beating. _

_It was usually both._

_However, instead of violently bludgeoning the blonde and the raven, the pinkette sighed and bent her head. _

"_All of us have improved…we don't need to compare exactly how much to each other now, do we?" Sakura pulled her new chopsticks apart and set them down before folding her hands on the counter. "We're all jonin as of today. That's a pretty big accomplishment for all of us, don't you think?"_

_Naruto nodded. "Yeah, you're right Sakura. I…um, didn't mean to argue…"_

"_It's true," Sasuke agreed, but something in his tone didn't set right with Sakura. She regarded his deep-thoughted expression for a moment, until it melted into his usual look of arrogance. Naruto leaned forward and propped his elbows up, hand resting beneath his chin. _

"_But that doesn't mean there's no room for improvement…neh, Sasuke?"_

_The Uchiha shot a mutual glance in the kyuubi container's direction and gave a curt nod. "Hn…"_

"_Well, of course…I completely agree, but let's take our time about it, okay?" the pinkette turned and gave both boys a smile, to which they responded in their own manner; Naruto, with one of his face-splitting grins, and Sasuke, with that unrelenting smirk. The three of them resumed their meal, but Sakura found it more of a difficult task with the Sharingan wielder's chakra flaring about just wildly enough for her to notice. _What's his problem?_ the kunoichi shot a questioning look in her orange clad team mate's direction, but his oblivious, happy-go-lucky demeanor clearly told her he hadn't noticed; probably due to the considerable distance between them._

_From the outside, it would appear as though nothing was troubling Sasuke Uchiha, as his brooding outwardness was a typicality, along with the scowling look that marred his attractive features._

_But Sakura knew; her mistake had been not to ask what it was._

_The memory began to cloud until the scenic image of team seven and the sound of resuming, idle conversation faded into the background. Something somber ached within her, as she desperately willed her mind to extend the memory into the rest of the night's events._

_More. She wanted more, because this was the only place where those people existed now. "Please come back," she pleaded, but her fragment of bliss was swallowed into the darkness, abandoning her in the sheer idleness of a dreamless obsidian in its wake._

_End Flashback/Dream_

_**XxX**_

"Come back, please…" the soft murmur of a weakened voice from the hospital bed caused Kakashi Hatake to lower his Icha Icha novel onto his lap. He regarded the roseate with one wary visible eye. What he saw before him was not the bright-eyed girl he had known and cherished as his only female student for a greater amount of years than he was willing to admit, had gone by. Nor, was she the broken, mangled heap of remnant beauty that he had dashed away into the night, reaching the hospital with an inch of her life.

Sakura was beautiful. In fact, it was a wonder how the copy-nin had managed to stray his attention from her bedside for so long.

Not long after a four-hour surgery had commenced, undisturbed by the Hokage and her assistant, Tsunade had emerged from the ER room, announcing that Sakura was to be moved to a recovery room, and that she could receive her first visitor within the next hour. Kakashi, after hearing word of the girl's surgery proving successful, returned to the hospital with his request of being Sakura's first visitor immediately being granted.

Upon walking down the frigid, sterilized hall, the silver-haired ex ANBU member tried to fathom what sort of physical condition the recovered pinkette was in as of know. Was she bandaged? Unconscious? How was she feeling?

He certainly had a lot of questions to ask her, but he decided they could wait until a later time. Whatever Sakura's current physical condition, her emotional one was much too unstable to withstand a thorough discussion of the night's earlier events. In fact, she was probably so drugged up on pain killers, that she would most likely not wake up until the following day.

With these thoughts and his resolve concluding the course of actions he would take, Kakashi paused at the end of the hallway and opened the door to Sakura's room. What he saw astounded him beyond the ability to speak.

Spilling over the starch white sheets of the hospital cot, were long, silken threads of shimmering coral. The ends, though some lost in the covering, hung down over the edge of the mattress, nearly touching the polished marble floor. Kakashi's single eye roamed over the bed, and widened considerably it happened upon the unconscious patient who was intricately tangled in the sheets and blankets that had been placed over her. Unable to see her face, the masked man stepped inside for a closer look.

Her skin glowed, not an eerie alabaster, as it had during tonight's near-fatal encounter, but instead a more radiant form of its natural, porcelain complexion. Her soft pink lips, like the petals of her namesake, were partly open, breathy rhythmic sighs falling from them as she dreamed away, unperturbed.

Kakashi studied the sleeping woman's beautifully enhanced features, until his gaze fell to rest on a small, violet diamond adoring the center of her forehead. His breath hitched slightly at the familiar-looking shape.

_That seal…_ he realized. Its capabilities were foreign to Kakashi, and though he had the faintest conclusion it went hand in hand with Sakura's current condition, he got the feeling there was a more solemn reason for why it had been put there. The copy nin silently cursed the blonde medic for not elaborating more on the specific details that had ultimately put him into such an unexpected shock. A fleeting thought of marching up to the Hokage's office right now and asking her just what all of this meant came and passed through his mind. There would be none of that.

Tsunade, aside from being a very respectable Godaime, was first and foremost a very skilled and knowledgeable medic, much like her pink-haired pupil. To perform any sort of operation, be it jutsu or a complicated medical procedure, had to have been done with after thorough contemplation and with good reason. Kakashi, even as the roseate kunoichi's former sensei, could not voice his argument in the matter, as he'd turned her over to the Sannin for tutelage long ago. This was a matter between teacher and student; he would respectively stand aside this time and observe the outcome of it through the eyes of something he'd become with the last surviving member of team seven; a friend. And he would be there for her, for whatever she needed.

Now, his previous self-conclusion resurfaced, a little shaken, in his thoughts as Sakura began to rouse from her dream-state. Like an angelic beauty rising from a long slumber, her lashes fluttered, lids slowing lifting over orbs of a luxurious jade green. Kakashi tentatively scooted closer to the bedside in his backward faced chair. His looming shadow failed to steal the luminous glow in her eyes as they opened tiredly and came to rest on his unfocused form.

"Sakura?" the copy-nin mused with his signature happy eye crease. The pink beauty elicited a soft huff of amusement at her former sensei's slight elation.

The girl, sprawled on her back, shifted her body around experimentally, quickly making an assessment of what hurt and what did not. She was surprised to find that none of it hurt at all, despite the heavily wrapped bandages around her left wrist. Felling comfortably with her condition, Sakura turned onto her side and hoisted herself up with her right arm. The action was followed by the cascading sweep of lush, pink threads brushing down her back. The ex-kunoichi tilted her head, undoubtedly sure that it was, in fact her own hair, but how it had gotten to such an unimaginable length within a short amount of time was completely beyond her.

Sakura slid her fingers apprehensively through a stray length of her hair, before brushing it over her shoulder where she felt it fall down her back with the rest.

Briefly, the pinkette noted that she was still wearing a hospital gown; _great_. No walking around the room anytime soon, seeing as these things split right down the backside. Instead, she remained sitting with her legs dangling over the edge of the mattress, her feet planted firmly on the cold marble floor. As her body adjusted to its new elevated position, Sakura began to notice things; different things, starting with the complimentary glow of her skin, which looked much healthier than she last remembered. Her limbs felt stronger, noticeably more slender, though not in the same way that made her appear so sickly like before. Sakura's jade eyes widened considerably at the foundation of curves and flattering swells of her body, those of which she was certain had not been there as of recent. Hell, she even had a bit more cleavage to show off now, though it was still nothing comparable to the bountifulness of her shishou's own chest. Sakura was admittedly grateful for that; if such a thing were to happen to her, she was sure that every man in the village would wind up with a few broken bones and two unsightly black eyes.

The sound of Kakashi clearing his throat made the pinkette sit up straight and meet his eyes…_eye_. He too, had been studying her with similar amazement, only his own being more formal and well-reserved.

"Kakashi…" Sakura mumbled, testing the strength of her voice. Clear as a bell. "What happened to me?"

"Well, I was hoping you could tell me," was what he wanted to say, but of course, he knew better. Kakashi sighed and drummed his gloved fingers on the surface of the book in his lap. He considered his words thoughtfully, before he spoke them.

"After you were brought to the hospital, your condition was deemed fatal. The Hokage ordered all of the nurses to leave, and she began an operation on you. That is all I know,"

"An 'operation'?" emphasis on _operation, _as Sakura gaped down at her newly blossomed form. "I think, there's more to this than just a simple operation, don't you think?"

Had there not been a mask shielding the faintest of blushes rising on the man's face, it would have been very obvious. She was asking him what he thought of the outcome of her surgery. _Well, well Hatake! Bite your tongue! Wait…what?_

The copy nin straightened, his discomfort gratefully remaining unnoticed by the woman sitting on the bed. "Well, I can't give you all of the details, as I was told nothing of what the surgery consisted," he replied, rising from his seat with a book in his hand. "You will have to take up the matter of your current condition with Tsunade, herself,"

_Time to leave_

Kakashi was making haste to the doorway in a manner he thought was as discreet as possible, until the voice of his student halted him in mid-step. Sakura bent forward with her hands resting on her knees, pink strands falling to curtain her face.

"Kakashi…I…"

The former ANBU simply shook his head once and turned it to look over his shoulder. "Not now, Sakura…" he told her, his voice low and solemn. "We will talk about it when the time comes." With that, he disappeared out of the room and down the cold hall way once again, previous idle thoughts whisking him away gradually until he was deeply immersed into the same memories that he knew were haunting his student to no end.

**XxX**

**A/N: **It would have been longer, but when I tried to upload it, it didn't get the entire thing! ): So, there definitely will be a second chapter, and it will be part two of this one! I will be uploading them both tonight!

**Smiles**~


	4. Rebirth: Part 2

**Between Life and Living **

**Chapter 4: Rebirth: Part 2**

**Disclaimer: **SmilesforSaidoes_not_ own **Naruto**! The making of this fanfiction is for my personal pleasure (and maybe yours, who knows)

**A/N: **Here it is. Part 2 of Rebirth. I know this is like the fourth chapter, but I have to wonder if I'm actually talking to no one. Oh, well. Like I said, I'm just trying to write a story and have fun with it. For whoever just happens to be reading…

Enjoy~

**XxX**

Shortly after leaving the hospital and having some lunch at Ichiraku Ramen, Kakashi Hatake was called to the Hokage's tower, via request of the woman herself. With the hope of possibly learning more about Sakura's condition, he set off down the street, waving nonchalantly to the occasional shinobi that greeted him on his short travel.

Once he had reached said tower, Kakashi strolled passed the guard ninja who gave him the okay to go inside. In through the door and up the stairs, he stood at the end of the winding hall, only to be greeted by an unusually jittery Shizune.

"K-Kakashi!" the dark-haired woman sputtered, fumbling with a book in her hand. Kakashi politely regarded her, giving her his usual eye crease.

"Hello, Shizune. I'm here to see Lady Tsunade—"

Shizune's eyes nearly popped out of her head at the mention of her best friend's name, "R-right! Well, she's right inside. I have an errand to run, so I'll see you around. Oh, and Kakashi…" she firmly caught his arm before he could open the door standing before them. Kakashi tilted his head curiously, sensing the worry in the poisons mistress' demeanor.

"Yes…?"

Shizune surveyed the hall with shifty eyes before turning her attention back to Kakashi. "Please…try not to say anything that will upset her. Things are…difficult for her right now."

The copy nin nodded, but frowned inwardly at the woman. What, as if they weren't just as difficult for him? He, besides one other, had been the only person that had witnessed the pin-haired kunoichi in all of her insanity, slaughtering her own appendage with crazy eyes as if she were a child ripping open a package on Christmas morning; gruesome picture that would undoubtedly stay with him for a very long time.

"I understand," Kakashi replied, despite his thoughts. Shizune gave a meek, appreciative smile before releasing the man's arm and disappearing down the hall. He watched her until she had rounded the corner, before turning back to the door. Without having entered inside the room, Kakashi could already feel the Hokage's chakra emanating fiercely through the other side. Try as he might, he could not suppress a slight gulp as he laid a hand on the metal knob and pushed open the door.

Aside from the soft light of dawn's slow approach filtering through the rectangular blinds from the windows, the Hokage's office was completely dark. The copy nin sauntered in to the center of the room, until he stood in front of the desk. The woman sitting behind it with her elbows propped, fingers threaded beneath her chin surveyed her requested visitor with glinting, amber eyes. Kakashi gazed back at her evenly, hoping that any apprehension within him did not reflect on him outwardly.

"Kakashi," she spoke finally. The nin remained still, waiting for her to continue. "About…Sakura. As I'm sure you've noticed, she's undergone some changes…"

_Changes _the shinobi mentally emphasized the word. Well, that was _one_ way of putting it. "So I have," Kakashi replied, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. His hand itched for the hold of his coveted Icha Icha novel, as it was his crutch of sorts for rather uncomforting situations. However, he refused to allow himself the escape. This was an important matter, and every detail, large or small, needed to be heard.

Tsunade closed her eyes for a moment as if she needed to do so in order to properly construct her next sentence. "Sakura's wound was near-fatal. Shizune and I worked four hours straight without rest, pouring every ounce of chakra we had into the injury in order to heal her back to a physically stable condition. Our work was not fruitless, and she has successfully survived the surgery. However…"

The silver-haired man quirked an eyebrow at the woman's words.

"...You're saying that the seal you've placed on Sakura isn't what saved her life, then?"

Tsunade opened her eyes and nodded once. "That is part of what I'm saying. The reason I have casted such a jutsu is both complicated and simple…" her fingers became unthreaded and her hands dropped onto her desk. "I cannot afford to lose Sakura, as neither a highly skilled medical kunoichi, nor my own surrogate daughter of sorts. For the past six years, I have taught that girl nearly every jutsu I know, and she has mastered them all without flaw. The Yin seal is the very last thing I have left to give her, as a reward for all of her accomplishments through my tutelage," she paused and pointed to the diamond adorning her own forehead. "You should understand how capable Sakura is of controlling chakra. That is one of the reasons why I accepted her as my own student in the first place,"

Kakashi nodded. Out of the three shinobi in team seven, Sakura had earlier proved that her chakra control was superior to her team mates. Despite his regretful failure in having been able to teach the kunoichi much of anything useful himself, the man had been almost relieved when the Godaime had taken her under her wing. The way Kakashi saw things, it'd been the best thing ever to happen to Sakura, as both a kunoichi and a young girl. Tsunade had been through her own tough times, and he was positive that this was the other reason the blonde was talking about.

"The Yin seal is a vessel for chakra. If an amount of chakra is stored inside for a long period of time, it will stay there until the user releases it. Inside of Sakura's own seal, I've placed an amount of my own. It's very pure and highly concentrated. The fact alone that its foreign chakra and its flowing through her Gate of Healing should be reason enough in regards to the changes in Sakura's body. These changes will subside gradually and reshape her differently as they are probably at their peak right now, but once they reach their destined form, she will permenantly remain as so. When Sakura releases the seal, she will be able to use the chakra in the way that she desires…which brings me to my reasoning, Kakashi…"

A long silence passed between them, until Kakashi looked away. He recalled to his mind all of the ways Sakura was _able_ to use her chakra; enhanced strength…and medical ninjutsu.

"You mean…"

Tsunade sighed and dropped her head into her hands. "Kakashi…you know just as well as I, how Sakura has been dealing with the loss of her team mates these past few years. Using medical jutsu to save a life is not always dependable, but I feel that by giving Sakura my last resort then it will also provide her with a new hope,"

The copy nin shook his head in disbelief. "Do you honestly believe that it's not too late to salvage any faith she has left in herself with a jutsu like that? What has it done for you in the past?"

The room once again fell silent as the Hokage's mouth fell open without sound with Kakashi immediately realizing he had said something very out of line. A shadow shifted with interest in the dark corner of the room, but no one seemed to notice.

"I'm…I'm sorry," the last Sharingan wielder apologized solemnly. To his surprise, the blonde gave a soft chuckle and leaned forward at her desk.

"But you're right, Hatake…" she said in a quiet voice. Her amber orbs seemed to become unfocused as if an unknown memory of her past was playing behind them. "That's why I can only hope. Maybe I am doing a cruel thing for Sakura, and this will only result in another disappointment," Kakashi tensed at her words. A sort of sparkle coming to her eye simmered his discomfort. "But we don't know if it's a win or lose until we take a gamble, huh?"

"A gamble…" the nin mused. "But don't you always lose?"

A smile curled up on the Sannin's lips as she rose from her chair and strolled over to the window. The light of dawn broke through the cracks in the blinds as she pulled them back to look upon the village. "When it's a gamble of a lifetime…I never lose".

**XxX**

**A/N: **Will the Legendary Sitting Duck lose her bet? And who else is lurking in the Hokage's office? Well…find out in the next chapter!

**Smiles~**


	5. And Your Mission Is!

**Disclaimer: **Smiles for Sai does _not_ own Naruto! But I'm sure you already knew that (:

**Between Life and Living**

**Chapter 5:****And Your Mission Is…!**

**A/N: **-shrug- I'm on a roll. Chapter five of '**Between Life and Living**'! I've got nothing to say about this chapter, except that a certain someone is _finally_ making his official appearance…Also, sorry for shortness ): Um…

Enjoy~!

**xXx**

Shortly after dismissing the copy nin from her office, Tsunade returned to her desk and sat down with a sigh. The amount of chakra she had used today to save her patient had taken a toll on her body. And then there was the vast quantity now stored in the newly formed seal she had put on the girl's forehead.

Tsunade groaned as her head continued to throb, and allowed it to smack down onto her desk. _Well, that didn't help anything…_The small, but noticeable chakra signature emanating from the corner of the room reminded her that she was not alone. With a sigh, she lifted a hand and dropped back down limply at her side.

"You know, you can come out now."

Obediently, the shinobi clad in ANBU attire leaned away from his place of hiding and stepped into the center of the room. Tsunade pulled herself upright and propped her elbows on her desk, a smirk on her face that, despite the mask concealing that of the ANBU's, she knew he could see.

"I'm going to go over your mission in this whole ordeal," she explained, and went on to continue after realizing the nin was not going to say anything in response. "I want you to understand that my reasons for assigning you specifically are not only because you happened to be present with Kakashi when Sakura was found…"

Tsunade's cherry red nails tapped on her desk and her eyes narrowed. "I've read your file, ANBU. I don't believe it will be necessary for me to repeat what I have read inside of it. Whatever knowledge you have of ANBU, I want you to put it aside as it will not be important on this mission,"

A pale hand rose and slowly pulled away the mouse-faced mask the ninja was wearing.  
>His dark eyes met with the light, twinkling without affection while thin brows knit together in confusion at the Hokage's orders. "You want me to complete my mission without the skills I have obtained through my years in ANBU? Lady Hokage…I do not understand—"<p>

Tsunade smiled thinly and sat back in her chair. "But you do. It's just as simple as that, Sai. Think of this as a sort of hiatus from all of your Black Ops commissions. No fighting, no training, no spying and no murder. I realize this will be a very different experience for you, compared to what you were used to in ROOT. Now that you are a regular ANBU, you are entitled to a normal side of life. Every ninja is entitled to a normal side of life. Don't you agree?"

The dark haired shinobi tilted his head as if the question had been something he really needed to consider. He'd never truly given any thought as to what he'd do with his life, if given the chance to live outside of ROOT or ANBU, aside from maybe spending his days painting away. Tsunade gave a small chuckle at his thoughtful expression and simply shook her head.

"The answer is yes, Sai…"

Sai recovered his stoic, blank look before he gave a respectful nod. "…Very well then, Lady Hokage. Please relay the details of my mission and I will do my best to carry them out, as you see fit—"

"Ah ah ah," the blonde interrupted Sai's formal allocution with a shake of her finger. She then leaned over her desk with a sly grin that the former ANBU could not comprehend.

"Come closer, ANBU. There are a few things I need to teach you first before you…" Sai drew closer, as her voice dropped to a whisper…the poor boy had no idea what he was up for, and kami help him if he ever learned.

**xXx**

"Sensei, is there any chance I'm getting out of here sometime soon?" Sakura grumbled as Kakashi walked into the room. He'd returned upon request with some umeboshi, which was one of her personal favorites.

"Don't complain, Sakura" the copy nin scolded mildly, setting the bowl of dried fruit in front of her. The pinkette gave a small scowl before settling back against the hospital cot and grabbing a piece and putting it in her mouth. In no less than a minute, her foul mood had dissipated with the combination of sour and saltiness tingling on her taste buds. Kakashi smiled behind his mask at the contentedness of his former student and brought his chair closer so he could sit beside her.

"Sakura,"

Mmm?"

"You'll have a new visitor today."

"Agh rirahrirh?" the girl repeated while chewing the fruit in her mouth. The man shook his head at her ill-manneredness but still found he was laughing nonetheless.

"Yes, a visitor. Um…Sakura, do you think you could chew with your mouth closed?"

"Yeah, sorry," she apologized, wiping her mouth with a napkin. With her thoughts lost on the delicious snack that had been brought to her, Sakura turned her attention to the new subject at hand. "What do you mean, a visitor?" Honestly, she had no idea who it might be.

The silver-haired jonin regarded her for a short minute, but before he'd finally figured out a way to explain his revelation, there came a soft knock on the hospital room door. Both heads, pink and silver turned in the direction of the far side of the room, their silence sufficient admission to whoever waited on the other end.

The door opened…

And Sakura's heart dropped into to her stomach.

**xXx**

**A/N: **Short chapter, but as promised, Sai has officially stepped into the picture! I will try to get at least two more chapters out before the end of this weekend to make up for the lack of length in this one. Until next time!

**~Smiles**


	6. Five Stages of Grief and Loss

**Between Life and Living**

**Chapter 6: Five Stages of Loss**

**Edit***A/N: **Yay! I have another review! Thank you very much! I'm glad to hear you are enjoying the story. This is the re-uploaded version of chapter 6 which I originally posted at like 2am (not a good idea) and I discovered some crazy errors. I would also like to mention that this story _is_ **A/U**, therefore Sakura and Sai have **never** met until now, however Kakashi and Sai already know each other. How they met will be explained later. As for this war that I have mentioned, it is pretty much not the war that corresponds with the manga. You will also learn about that in future chapters of this story. Now without further a due, chapter 6 of '**Between Life and Living'**.

Enjoy (:

"_Sometimes I forget that at the end of the day, and we go home we're all just human,"_

**xXx**

_Flashback_

_Shortly after his meeting with the Hokage, Sai exited the blonde's office with her last words still lingering among other thoughts as he went over the details of his mission. _There are things you will need to learn_, she had told him._ I want you to take the next few hours to attune yourself to normal civilian life. Everything that has to do with shinobi or ANBU, I want you to put aside for the time being. This will be very important for your mission.

_There were just a few minor problems with that request though,_ _Sai had silently argued. Shinobi life was all he _knew._ Without any knowledge of his previous life before entering ROOT, Sai was at a loss for a solution to his dilemma. All the way home, and even during the night's painting session, he thought and thought about what he could do, but his contemplation had proved to be fruitless. _

_It was the very next day that the nin had come to a decision. In the center of the village was a small library he would pass everyday on his way to ANBU HQ. Aside from drawing and painting, Sai found small pleasure in brushing up on his knowledge on all sorts of shinobi tactics as well as the village's history and would visit it often. The library had a vast amount of books, though he had never really bothered to look at them, as the majority of them were nothing more than children's books and novels of fiction. The ANBU, as simple-minded as he was, figured that if there were instructional guides on things as ridiculous as learning how to properly throw a shuriken, then there had to be some sort of manual in regards to how one behaves in normal society. With this being his new resolve, the pale shinobi went through his usual morning ritual and headed down to the village square to acquire said material._

_**xXx**_

_Upon his entry into the small library, Sai was greeted by the librarian; a woman with dark frizzy hair and black framed glasses. A cute splash of faint freckles dotted across her nose. She waved at him, a small blush touching her cheeks as she wistfully surveyed her most frequent visitor. _

"_S-Sai! What brings you here today?" she asked in a tiny voice. The artist gave her one of his polite, mechanical smiles and strolled over to the counter from behind which she stood. _

"_Hello, Miss Rin. I am here to find a book on human interaction. Might you have something in likeness to that?"_

_Rin tilted her glasses up onto her nose and elicited a small sniffle. Despite the affection she held for the young man, she couldn't help but admit he could be sort of…strange at times. "You want…a book on human interaction?" her voice squeaked slightly at the end of her sentence. "Um…well, there are some books on psychology over at the section in—"she pointed a finger to the left side of the library, "that direction". Before Rin could ask if he needed further assistance, the stoic nin was already making his way over to west part of the room. After watching his black-uniformed figure disappeared behind the shelves, she sighed and slumped back in her chair with a dejected sigh. "Geez…" she mumbled. "What a silly person…"_

_Sai strolled down the carpeted aisle in the direction of which he had been referred to, his dark eyes wandering over the names labeling the spine of each book. _

"_**Dealing with Emotional Stress**_"

"_**Coping**__**With Depression**_"

"_**How to Rid of Your Imaginary Friend**_"

And,

"_**Why Did My Lover Break Up With Me**_?"

Well those last two might have been arguably misplaced, but…

_The various titles were all intriguing and he thought that maybe, if he ever had time, he would come back and read them when he wasn't on a mission. As he reached the last aisle, Sai frowned at the realization that none of these books were what he was looking for. Maybe nothing like it even existed, after all. With a small sigh, he turned the corner and started back up the second aisle; until a small red book caught his eye._

"_**Learning How to Make a Friend: Volume One**__"_

_The nin studied the title's bold white lettering for a hesitant minute before reaching over and sliding the thick book off of the shelf and carefully opening it. The dust that cascaded into the carpet as the hard cover fell back, and the faint, musky scent of the yellowing pages told Sai it was likely that the book had not been touched for a very long time. Carefully, as to not rip the thin paper, he turned the pages one by one, eyes widening gradually with each chapter he came across. After a brief re-evaluation of what the book contained, Sai closed the guide and strolled back to the counter where he found Rin idly drawing hearts around something written inside of a small notebook._

"_Oh, Sai…"_

"_Yes, Miss Rin. I have found the book that I was looking for. I am ready to check it out now,"_

"_Ready to…oh, that's good Sai…Sai!" the woman scrambled to sit upright in her chair, pushing the glasses up on the bridge of her nose and knocking a few innocent books to the floor under her desk in the process. Sai bent forward and captured one that had all but neared the edge and set it next to its re-gathered kin. "Th-thank you…" the clumsy librarian mumbled sheepishly. She took the book that Sai handed her with a smile and checked it out in his name, a smile of her own tracing up on her lips once she caught a glimpse of the title._

"_H-have a good day, Sai!" Rin called out, leaning over the edge of her counter as the nin exited the library. When he was gone, she sat back down in her chair and hunched over with her chin in her hands. Her carmine eyes stared off somewhere behind tipping glasses as she giggled to herself. "How to Make Friends, huh? Maybe you aren't so strange after all…Sai"_

_End of Flashback_

Kakashi shot Sai a questioning look as the artist stepped into the room. Instead of his usual ANBU attire, Sai's choice of clothing was a non-descript black t-shirt and a pair of jonin pants. Shining that fake smile for all the world to see, he strolled over to a slightly concerned Kakashi and said nothing as the man stood up to greet him.

"Sai," the copy nin began, a small unhappy crease forming in his eye. "What's…what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, I can assure you Hatake," the ANBU replied evenly. A smile made especially for the young woman sitting on the bed with an equally confused expression graced his lips, and he nodded politely in her direction. Kakashi glanced between Sakura and his partner and then arched a graying brow. "Well, then…can I ask why you're here?"

"I am here to visit Sakura. Just like you," Sai replied stonily. Kakashi lifted a hand to rake his fingers through his unruly hair, shaking his head all the while.

"For me?" Sakura repeated, finally having found her voice. The strange new visitor had nearly scared her into a panic. _That face. And those eyes…_she shook her head, shaming herself for thinking that even for a minute, she was looking into the face of her former team mate. Readjusting herself into a more comfortable sitting position, Sakura gathered her long hair into a handful and pushed it over one shoulder. The first thing she planned to do once she was released from this frigid white hell was have a trim. Short hair was something she had grown accustomed to since the time she'd started cutting it many years ago, but once she had caught a glimpse of how she looked through the mirror in one of the hospital's bathrooms, she decided it was rather flattering and it did the rest of her new appearance justice. Albeit, she might have looked like some princess straight out of a fairy tale, she didn't plan on walking around looking like Rapunzel for the rest of her life.

"Yes, you" the pale man replied, tilting his head as his smile faded, leaving his eyes with an unfeeling stare. Sakura stared right back, gradually becoming uncomfortable under the weight of his relentless gaze until she looked away with tremor of chills running through her body. _What a creepy guy_…the pinkette thought. Her green orbs strayed back to Kakashi, who was regarding her almost worriedly. She gazed back at him with mutual perplexity, until the third person in the room made a sound as if to bring himself back into attention. The copy nin's eyes lingered on his former student for a moment longer, before he turned back to his partner with an expectant look.

"Hatake—"

"Sai," Kakashi interrupted. The ANBU fell quiet for a beat, but pressed on with what he had to say.

"I believe it said that when your friend is speaking, it is important for one to listen to what they have to say"

Kakashi's eye widened and narrowed warningly all in the same instant. Whatever _it_ was, he didn't bother to ask. Sakura, still seated on the bed, jumped with a start at the sudden rise and flare of the man's chakra. "Do you consider me your friend, Sai?"

"I do," the pale nin replied without hesitation. Silence descended over the room, with the exception of the wavering hum of the AC that blasted a cold draft over Sakura's bed, keep both the air and the girl feeling chilly.

A soft sigh fell from the sole Sharingan user's lips, and the tension in the room dissolved. "Then come with me Sai. I would like to speak with you outside,"

"Very well," the artist complied.

Sakura watched without a word as the two men headed for the door. Kakashi, now extracting that shameful orange book from his back pocket, turned to look over his shoulder and gave the pinkette a friendly wink. "Stay here," he told her, seeing the worry that betrayed in her jade-colored orbs. "I'll be back. I promise," and then, with that said, let the door fall closed behind him.

**xXx**

Once out of earshot and into the hall, the silver-haired nin leaned against the wall beside the door, and slid his Icha Icha novel back inside his pocket. Sai, looking for all the world disconcerted and at a loss, stood before his partner and waited silently for him to say something. Kakashi surveyed the pale man for a measurable moment, and then sighed and crossed his arms. "Sai…"

"Yes, Hatake?"

"Tell me why you are visiting Sakura,"

"It is my mission," the artist replied with brief apprehension. He had no qualms about relaying the details of his assignments to his partner, the severity of whatever it entailed great or not. The visible eye of the jonin narrowed with suspicion.

"Mission?" he all but repeated. The two shinobi stared at each other, exchanging looks of discretion.

"Yes…" Sai replied. "Lady Tsunade has asked that I help '_Sakura back on her feet'_"

The copy nin wasn't sure of whether to laugh or growl in anger. _Sai?_ _Help Sakura recover?_ From an _extreme psychological disorder? _Sai had to be the most socially inept person he'd ever known. Kakashi decided that being angry was the appropriate response, because if _he_ couldn't do anything to help the poor girl that he saw more of a daughter than anyone else, no one could.

"Impossible," was the nin's gruff response. His fingers twitched to the book nestled in his back pocket, but he fought the urge to pull it out. The man before him fixed him with a dark and unavoidable gaze until the gloved hand fell dejectedly to his side. Sai was, to anyone's surprise, a very perceptive person. On the day that they had met during their preparation for the fourth shinobi war, he had analyzed that the silver's nin's orange book of smut only made its appearance when Kakashi found himself in an uncomfortable situation. Sai had been seeing a lot of that book lately, without a doubt due to his former student's increasing disability.

The artist had his own method of dealing with those types of things; he wondered if the man had yet to figure it out…

"I understand that Sakura is a very precious person to you," Sai continued, now having claimed Kakashi's absolute attention. "But you should know that, as an ANBU the failure of a mission is unacceptable. This is no exception; I will complete it without flaw".

The copy nin shook his head, having already anticipated such words from his routine, professionally-behaved partner. "Sai, this is…different," he began, wary at first that he would be interrupted. When he paused and realized Sai was waiting with a blank look of expectance, he continued. "Sakura is mentally unstable. She's been like this for over three years. There are reasons why that you wouldn't understand and I, myself, am still having a hard time trying to get her to move on—"

"Your reasoning with her is all bias," the ANBU interrupted. Kakashi's mouth fell open behind his mask, but he quickly snapped it closed.

"What?"

Sai shifted onto his other foot and straightened himself out. Without having realized, he'd assumed a stance similar to that of his partner. It was true, what they said about your friend's habits rubbing off on you over a gradual amount of time. Sai would have thought it to be most unbecoming, but without Danzo constantly barking into his ear about _presentation_ this and _professionalism_ that, he hardly thought to give a damn. The bastard was long dead and gone before the start of the shinobi war anyway; the deed, having been done by yours truly.

"Your reasoning…Sakura has been given too much space to dwell upon her loss. No, perhaps worded that way, it sounds a little…" the artist's brows knit for a lack of a better word. "_Cruel_,"

Kakashi's eye squinted, but he said nothing in reply.

"Your reasoning has compelled you to give Sakura an ample amount of time to recover from what she has lost. Any one person who has lost a loved one will naturally grieve for a period of time and begin a gradual recuperation. But that hasn't happened to Sakura. Do you know why?"

The silver-haired shinobi quirked an eyebrow. "Where are you going with this Sai?" the translation meant for the man to continue, but Sai answered responded to both in the same sentence.

"There are five steps to loss and recovery. First, is denial and isolation. They are normal reactions that are meant to rationalize the person's conflicted emotions,"

Kakashi's eye slowly became downcast, suddenly finding an unexplainable interest in the polished marble floor. Sakura had _certainly_ gone through that, and had apparently still been coping with the second part up until the previous day; mainly because of the fact that she had been forced away from her home. A couple years ago, he could recall the pinkette bouncing about the town with a smile and a blithe demeanor that was almost a little too forced to be real. Sakura had laid on the content façade evenly enough to fend off her friends' concerning questions, but Kakashi knew her just a bit better and had seen right through. Unfortunately, the girl had deeply submersed herself into every idle activity she could think of, leaving her sensei no room to confront her about her ridiculous pretense; if she really had to hide her sadness that well, then a talk was clearly long past due.

But Sakura continued to evade him.

Over, and over and ignoring his calls. He was starting to feel a little self-discouraged, being the notorious nin that he was and having no clever way to feat in trying to sway his student into confiding in him about her abjection. Eventually, Kakashi decided that it was best to wait for her to come around and sure enough, within the month she had completely moved on. Just not to what he had expected.

"The next step is anger. Said victim will often use both physical and verbal forms of anger as an outlet to expressing the magnitude of their emotional distress,"

_Anger_. If there hadn't been worse things to come, Kakashi would have been sure he had seen the worst side of Sakura possible. One day, for seemingly no reason, Sakura had decidedly taken it upon herself to punch Lee square in the face and knock him clear across the street into a house full of people, when all he had done was simply present her with a small bouquet of flowers to express his hope of seeing her soon in better days. Shortly after a brief apology, and having to mend the many broken bones in the poor taijutsu specialist's body, Sakura disappeared into what Kakashi now assumed was her only safe haven to silently reflect on what she had done; her place of isolation.

Her home.

Many others had suffered the blunt force of inhuman strength Sakura had mastered through the teachings of her equally barbaric sensei, and the numbers began to pile up until everyone she knew ended up in the hospital, harboring some sort of near-fatal injury that she would end up fixing herself. But despite her repetitive assault on their bodies, Sakura's friends never gave up on her and continued to return each time with a new tactic in hopes of finally simmering the girl's restless spirit. Try as they might, they were never quite successful, though with time, the pinkette did finally resolve…to something different. Something unimaginably worse….

Sai tilted his head in order to capture a glimpse of the somber expression marring his partner's face. A frown of his own descended onto his lips, placing it carefully. _This is how one looks when they are sad _he reminded himself. _Strangely, I don't feel that recreating such an expression is such a difficult task. Could it be that I too…? _The artist's thoughts were interrupted by Kakashi, who lifted his head and spoke.

"There's more…"

"Pardon?"

"There is more…isn't there"

It was a statement in fact, not a question. "Yes. There is more," Sai confirmed and then continued. "After anger, is bargaining. This is commonly said victim's reaction to the feelings of helplessness and vulnerability. They will often use this method to better gain self control,"

Bargaining. To listen to all of Sakura's what-ifs had been so depressing that Kakashi had nearly entertained the idea of shutting himself inside for an entire week. Sakura would often rant on about how she could have done things differently in order to prevent what had happened to her team mates. What was worse had been that Kakashi had found himself nearly wishing he could have made some of his own changes as well.

"_If only I had gone with Naruto when Sasuke had…"_

"_If only I could have told Naruto how much I truly did care about him, Kakashi. Do you think he knows now?"_

"_If only I had been stronger! If only I could have…gotten to Sasuke first. Do you think they knew I was going to be too weak to…?"_

On and on, and on and on. Kakashi just couldn't take any more of those _what-if_s. Just when he thought his head was going to explode from all the frustration, Sakura had suddenly ceased her incessant bargaining and hadn't said much since then on. That was the last time she'd said much of anything to him. In fact, it had been the last time he'd seen her since…

"Sakura has been coping with the second half of stage one and is currently stuck in the entire process of the fourth," Sai concluded, before Kakashi could string together his thoughts. "It appears to be a sort of glitch in the procedure. It's uncommon, but it has been known to happen. The reason for it is clear though. Now I will ask you again, Hatake. Do you know why?"

The copy nin finally lifted his gaze from the floor, and for the first time since two had stepped into the hall, he looked directly into the ink user's coal black eyes. They were hard, and focused and waiting for an answer. Kakashi regarded him apprehensively, and then elicited a small sigh.

"I know…" he admitted in a low, remorseful tone.

There had been too many times; too many chances where, if he had just pushed himself a little harder, he knew he could have gotten through to the pinkette who was wallowing in excessively in her own hopeless abandon. The strong exterior of the girl who had grown and strengthened before his very eyes had been ripped away to reveal the shell of a girl who had been hurt and ridiculed by life's unkindness in a number of ways, but never this. No matter how prepared a shinobi—no, a person, could be told to make themselves for death that could steal them or their loved ones at any given moment, it was impossible.

Kakashi had been through it. Been through the hardship of unexpectedly losing one friend for the sake of his own life, and then in gradual time, slowly losing another. Time was all he thought he needed and that was all he was sure had gotten him past his lonesome days. Now he realized what it had been to help him through them all along. It was everyone around him. Every smiling face of every friend he had made over the years that had not let him even dwell for an instant on the past or what he had lost. Sure, there had been times where he would think briefly on it, but Kakashi had clearly moved on.

It was his friends. It was the village. And it had especially, been team seven.

"I didn't try as hard as I could, " Kakashi confessed, tensing up and crossing his arms over himself in order to fight the overwhelming urge to reach into his pocket and grab for his book. "I only let her go through all of it by herself because that's the way I learned to get over my own pain. As a shinobi, I…" the man paused and shook his head dismissively. "…I thought it was the best way, but I was wrong. Sometimes I forget that at the end of the day, and we go home we're all just human,"

Sai's brow creased in deep thought as he soaked up the words of his partner. Kakashi continued. "We're all just human…" he repeated, a sort of smile playing on his lips behind the mask as an unknown memory played behind his eyes. He lowered his gaze from the ceiling, and then looked at Sai with new resolve glinting clearly in his single dark orb. "Acceptance," he finished. The artist only looked at him. "Acceptance is the last step," he leaned away from the wall and turned his back from the ANBU to make begin making his way down the narrow hall way of the hospital. Sai watched him momentarily, and then calmly called out to him.

"So does this mean that…you don't have any objections about the mission I've just told you about?"

The masked nin halted his footsteps, but he did not turn around. "Not at all…" he replied, and then resumed walking. The artist stared on, watching his figure saunter comfortably down the hall with a new countenance he was sure he had not seen about the man until this moment. After the man had disappeared from sight, Sai's frown melted into that of his usual, stoic outwardness and he reached for the handle on the hospital door before him.

**xXx**

Kakashi walked out of the hospital with his hands slipped in his pockets, feeling slightly more confident that his student was in the hands of someone surprisingly more capable than he. A new demeanor, and feelings he hadn't come to terms with in years overwhelmed him and he stopped to gaze up at the sky. _It's been this long and I still haven't even acknowledged the fact that I've officially moved on…_ a gentle breeze picked up and carried over the land as if in response to his next pleading thoughts. _Sasuke. Naruto. Sakura needs to move on. I'm going to do my best to help. I realize my actions haven't been very beneficial in the past, but it's going to be different this time; I promise._

With a brand new resolve, the copy nin disappeared down the corresponding trail that lead away from the hospital building. Reflections on his past and thoughts that he had once been afraid to think of visited his memory, but he welcomed them kindly. And not one time, did Kakashi Hatake reach for the book in his pocket.

**xXx**

**A/N: **Wow, was 2am this morning when I finished this chapter. Anyway, I had to do my research for this particular part. I already had the concept in mind that there had to be some sort of steps a person goes through when coping with a loss. Personally, I've had only a few losses, but honestly I didn't know them enough to have the same sort of difficulties Sakura is having. The five steps of grief and loss are legit as I had to look them up. The only thing I really fabricated about it (or at least I think) is Sakura's glitch in the process. I wouldn't doubt if it is possible, but as far as I know I totally made that up.

Reviews are totally appreciated! My inner self has a field day every time I see one so please review ): Or I'll change my name to Frowns instead…Do you really want Frowns for Sai? No, I didn't think so. Loll anyway. Until next time!

**Smiles~**


	7. Pulling the Trigger

**Between Life and Living**

**Chapter 7: Pulling the Trigger**

**A/N:** Hello! ^-^; After some elaborating, I had to question myself on how this chapter would play out. It's fairly simple, in terms of Sakura's part, but as much as I love Sai, he is admittedly a rather complex character. I believe I have done the best I could(and it took a lot of thought)in trying to portray how I think he would handle a situation like this in his own…twisted and gratingly annoying way, so I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Yep…

_Another_ thing I would like to mention is that Sakura's flashbacks appear in order of events as they occurred. The relapse of time, it…varies. But throughout her many flashbacks you will learn the truth concerning the events that happened prior to and during the war…now that that's out of the way….

Enjoy~

**xXx**

"_Is it a place that _you_ could go?"_

**xXx**

Sakura was patiently awaiting her former sensei's promised return, when she saw the door to her room opening. Instead of silvery spikes, she saw dark, inky hair. Instead of a friendly, happy eye crease she saw a blank, unaffectionate face. Murky bottomless orbs stared back at her, as she stared at him. The person called Sai simply leaned against the wall and studied her for what seemed the longest minute in the world, until Sakura grew uncomfortable and she shifted her gaze away from him.

"Where is Kakashi?"

"He left," replied the artist, finally pulling himself away from the wall. Sakura kept her eyes trained on him with wavering uncertainty until he crossed the room and stood before her at a considerable distance. She was glad he hadn't come any closer.

"Where did he go?"

Sai seemed to ignore her first, as if his own unknown thoughts had been more prominent than the question that had been directed to him. Finally, his eyes strayed back to her and a half-frown of sorts pulled at one corner of his lips. "Sakura, is it?"

"Yeah…" she mumbled. The man hadn't been in the room for more than five minutes and she was already growing impatient with him. Was he going to answer her question or not?

Sai grabbed the chair that Kakashi had once been sitting in, and seated himself down in the same way with the chair turned astern and his body facing forward. Again, he began to study her in a way that made Sakura feel more like something that was trapped behind a glass wall for experimental purposes, rather than a patient that was nearing the end of her stay in the hospital; hopefully. Beyond any doubt, it was starting to make her somewhat upset. When the ANBU saw the growing tension in her jade green orbs, the other corner of his mouth pulled up and a full blown smile emerged on his face. He tilted his head and asked in a manner clearly feigning innocence, "What's wrong, Miss Sakura?"

The pinkette's coral brows knit slightly, and her face flickered with a fleet display of obscure emotions. Clearly, he was trying to get some sort of rise out of her, but Sakura wasn't sure how to react. The girl only sighed and drummed her fingers on her knees, any notion of the man's ulterior motives completely lost on her.

" Nothing's wrong…Are you going to answer my question?"

"I'm sorry, what question was that?"

Sakura lifted her head to look into his blank face. Perhaps he hadn't heard her. He did seem to be lost earlier in his thoughts. "I said…where is Kakashi?"

"Oh. A place," the nin replied simply, adding a nod as an afterthought. The ex-kunoichi gave him a blank stare of her own. What wasn't he telling her? Kakashi had said he would return…so he had to come back. Right?

"What place would that be?" the roseate-haired girl quirked a brow, now a little more troubled by the man's stark evasiveness. He tilted his head to the other side with that chaste grin beaming at her especially now. Seriously, what the hell was this guy's problem? Was this some sort of game to him? Despite her abounding irritation, Sakura still could not bring herself to a point of aggression. Something within her sedated the slightest bit of antipathy, willing it to stay beneath the surface though she knew she was unsatisfied with the current degree of their conversation. Apparently she couldn't care enough to be mad at him; that, in itself should have been enough to set her off. But it wasn't.

"A place. Where people go," Sai chirped.

_Is it a place that _you_ could go?_

The twitch and curling fist of the hand in Sakura's lap did not go unnoticed by the ANBU. In fact, it had been the catalyst for what he was about to do next. "You know, Miss Sakura?"

"What? What do I know?"

What she _knew_ was that she wanted to leave this place as soon as possible and return to the comfort of her home where she could think. _Think about…_everything she wasn't being given the chance to think about in the presence of people who were way too cautious to leave her alone for more than a minute. They were smart, and understood the lethal intentions behind the deed that had ultimately landed her in the hospital. The result of her defeat left Sakura to silently drown in her own remorse, with the hourly routine of nurses coming in to check on her vitals.

_Vitals_; life. A reminder that she had failed her last-minute mission. Tears sprang to Sakura's eyes, threatening to spill down over her cheeks as she quietly pleaded forgiveness to her team mates for the lack of her success. _They_ had been so close and waiting for her that night, and she had allowed herself to become plundered away from them on the verge of death. Her hopes of trying again had been halved, if not more. Now with the watchful eye of many, including Kakashi , on her there was no way she was going to be alone for a very long time. Sakura hoped _they_ would wait for her. She promised to return to them…some way or another—

"Your forehead is really big," the voice of someone she'd completely forgotten about interrupted her brooding thoughts, followed shortly by the jab of a finger to her forehead. The pinkette's mouth fell open in astonishment as Sai leered back at her with a grin that had grown noticeably larger within the time she had spent wandering around in her pitiful thoughts. "With something this big, it's no wonder they call you billboard brow, huh?" he continued. The fisted hand in Sakura's lap began to tremble, and when Sai saw it begin to rise he went in for the kill.

"Ne? _Fivehead_,"

_Boom!_

The ANBU, no matter how well he had braced himself, had not been prepared for the breath-plundering blow that was firmly delivered to his abdominal reigon. The quaking impact sent painful shudders to wrack through his body, and before he even had a moment's chance to rebound before the collision, his back met the cold painted cement of the hospital wall; he went right through. Sai lost count of how many walls his body had broken through, but by the last he was desperately struggling for a breath that would not return to him until he last felt his back hit a final wall with lesser force. With a pitiful wheeze, he slid from the imprint his battered figure had made and slumped to the floor without movement.

The pink-haired woman, now on her feet slowly lowered her chakra-laced fist to her side with wide green eyes at the realization of what she had just done. The rush of adrenaline still pumping through her body left her quivering with a near-excitement. She thought perhaps, that because of the time that had elapsed since she'd last used her inhuman strength, the incredible blast had been the overwhelming release of long-suppressed chakra. The ex-kunoichi had checked out of her shinobi career shortly after team seven had been disbanded, and since that time it hadn't been used. This was the conclusion Sakura integrated with her new and alarmingly advanced display of brawn; little did she know, that this far from the case.

Sai had not returned to her for a little over an hour, but she had hardly been given the time to think about it because the second the nurses detected blood in the water, they were in her room and assessing the situation. The bewildered pinkette stood without motion as they flailed about in berserk abandon, their gaping soon directed at Sakura, accompanied by oddly familiar and fearful looks.

It took her all but a moment to realize where she had seen them; only in the presence of her former shishou's rage.

_Flashback_

"_L-Lady Tsunade…! Did you really have to punch Jiraiya that hard? You knocked him clear across the male _and_ the female hot springs! Do you know how long it's going to take to repair the walls?" Shizune tried to reason with her mistress but to no avail. Once the blonde was on an official rampage, there was no sane way of stopping her. _

"_It's no use, Shizune," Sakura said, stretching her leather fingerless gloves over her hands and plucking the dirty old man up by the ear from the ground. He was currently panting for breath from the unrelenting assault of her shishou's hand having been clamped around his throat and cutting off his air supply for so long. The three woman had caught the Toad Sage peeping on them during their supposed relaxing evening at the village's hot springs, however that had come to an abrupt end when the medic Sannin had caught her former team mate and went chasing after him stark naked. _

"_It wasn't exactly how I planned it, but I got enough for my research," the ancient buffoon said admittedly, as Sakura dropped him on his ass. Now fully dressed, Tsunade crossed her arms over her chest with a towel slung over one shoulder, amber eyes pointed daggers down on his pitiful display. "Keep it up," she said, raising a blustering fist in his direction. "If I _ever_ catch you doing that again, it'll be _worse_ than thirty years ago!"_

_The toad sage's eyes nearly popped out of his head at the mention of his near-death experience. "N-no! I-I'll take my research somewhere else, I promise!" he exclaimed. Before Tsunade or the others could make to pursue him, Jiraiya scrambled off with his telescope in hand. Shizune let out a wary sigh and turned back to her mistress and her pink-haired student with a light frown. _

"_Lady Tsunade…Did you really mean that? There's no mistaking the guy is the ultimate pervert, but that incident thirty years ago nearly _killed_ him," _

"_I realize that. Or course I didn't meant it, but hopefully the threat did its job this time," the blonde replied, uncrossing her arms. She pulled the towel off her shoulder and gripped it in her hands. Sakura flinched at the sight of tearing fabric. _

"_Shishou—"_

"_Not now, Sakura…" Shizune interrupted. The Hokage was already stomping off with her heels clicking on the stone pavement with every step. After the sound faded off in the distance, the dark-haired woman glanced back at the pinkette. "Lady Tsunade has quite the temper, especially around…"_

_Sakura lifted an eyebrow. "What, are you saying…?" _

_Shizune regarded the girl for a split second before realizing her misinterpretation. _

"_N-no…It's got to do with the Yin Seal Release technique she's used as of late. Every time she uses it her emotional balance is thrown off a bit. All the chakra from every gate in her body has to gradually restore itself, so as she recovers, so does her…" the poisons mistress paused for a thought for gain of a better word, "stability,"_

_Sakura scratched the back of her rosy head. A despairing frown marred her confuzzled expression. The last time Tsunade had used the Yin Seal technique had been about a month ago when Orochimaru had come to snatch Sasuke from the village; unfortunately, Sasuke seemed to have been all but willing, and the fight to take him back had been in vain. Shortly after and only managing to protect the village from collateral damage, the Hokage had fallen under a spell of comatose for several weeks and by the time she had finally awoken, someone _new_ had taken her place..._

"_So you're saying…Lady Tsunade isn't stable because of the jutsu she used when fighting Orochimaru? But her recovery went well and everything seemed normal. Then again, I guess what's on the outside doesn't always tell you what's going on with the inside…" Sakura trailed off when she saw Tsunade rounding the corner and calling for them to _hurry up_._

"_That's right. But the side-effects are only temporary. After her body readjusts and recovers its proper amount of chakra, she'll be stable again in no time," Shizune explained, and waved after the blonde. "We're coming!"_

_The two women began making their way out of the hot springs and to front entrance where they would take their leave. Shizune had explained just about everything to her, but there was something Sakura still didn't understand. Gently, she took Shizune by the wrist and pulled her out of earshot so the blonde would not notice their whispering. _

"_But I don't exactly understand. Lady Tsunade's temper is always frightening. She couldn't possibly get anymore scary than she already is, could she?"_

_The startled masculine cry and the massive crater suddenly pounded into the earth answered both of their questions as the Hokage dusted her hands off and turned around with an immaculate grin. The two women cringed and turned back to look at each other. _

_Oh, yeah. She could._

_End Flashback_

**xXx**

"Sakura?"

Sakura mentally shook herself out of her daydream as Sai walked into the room with an icepack resting against the side of his head. To her surprise, the moment he saw her he gave her that ridiculous grin. _Honestly_, how does someone who's suffered through _that_ amount of pain still manage to smile right into the face of their assaulter that way?

Sai strolled over to the bed where the chair had been knocked over in the midst of her outburst and he dragged it away, this time a little further from its original position. Sakura, for some reason found this highly amusing, her Inner self equally agreeing and she sat down on the bed with a smirk.

Sai stared at her warily, his arm now in a temporary cast until the nurses could find a more experienced medic to heal the broken bones. When they'd interrogated him about the cause of his injuries, he simply told them it was an accident and it was nothing that needed to be fussed over. After the nurses had finally relented, the ANBU returned to the recovery room with a satisfied grin; his plan to get a rise out of Sakura had worked and though he had been battered to pieces in the process, it was worth it; all for the sake of his mission.

All for the sake of one girl.

Returning to the library to retrieve '_**Coping with Depression' **_had earned Sai both a worried look from Rin throughout the entire process of his checkout, and a lot of useful insight on Sakura's current condition. From what he had learned, there were three types of depressive states. First, there was the kind that usually never lasted for more than a period of two weeks. It was temporary, and consisted of all the usual side-effects any normal depression came with; Inability to become motivated, the lack of will to seek help, and such. This type of depression was called _Major Depressive Disorder_. Given that Sakura had been emotionally distressed for much longer than the course of two weeks, Sai immediately crossed this off and moved on to the next type of depression; _Adjustment Disorder with Depressed Mood_.

This type of condition was diagnosed when a person was having trouble with adjusting to new facets in their life that caused them a great amount of stress. Naturally, the loss of loved ones was a drastic change in anyone's life. Apparently, this disorder could even be determined when a person was dealing with something _good_ that resulted in feelings of stress. Sai couldn't exactly understand how that worked, and he knew the latter wasn't plausible, so he also scratched out this type and moved on.

The third type of depression and the one that determined Sakura's condition perfectly, was a type called _Dysthymia_. Similar to the first kind, however the symptoms occur for a longer period of time; as in, two years or more. In addition to its expansive effects, one who is diagnosed with Dysthymia is also likely to experience occasional bouts from its similar form. Sai calculated the amount of years that had gone by since Sakura's depression had begun. According to Kakashi, it'd been over three years. The ring fit the finger well; thus, he concluded—diagnosed Sakura with the depression called Dysthymia.

Before leaving the Hokage's office, Tsunade had informed Sai a little on what Sakura was like. The fact alone that she had gone under the tutelage of the woman herself, was enough for Sai to make the assessment that he would be dealing with someone with usual, temperamental tendencies. And even though Sakura was so deep-rooted in her own depression, with the ANBU willing to dig just a bit deeper into her mind for a former trigger that would bring about a secondary dominant emotion, and the ministration of the bits and pieces of given trivia he had assembled together, Sai was able to find a way to resurface a fragment of what Sakura's personality originally was. Not forever. Not for today.

Just for a moment.

In ROOT, all members were trained to suppress the most dominant of emotions. ROOT was truly a malicious organization, but its intentions were purely for the sake of having a fleet of ninja that could carry out their missions without flaw. To Danzo, a shinobi who could pause in the middle of his assignment with even the briefest apprehension and concern for his fellow team mate was a sign of weakness; sentiment was a weakness, and it had to be destroyed.

Up until the previous hour, Sakura had only displayed one emotion, despite however feeble it had been. The slight wrinkle of her nose as she surveyed his bantering smile, and the way her hands had slowly clenched into fists were clear signs that she was still somewhat capable of caring enough to feel irritated. Sai figured if one had something that could trigger themselves or another into such a descended state of depression or unfeeling, then there had to be another trigger that could, even for a moment, pull right them out of it.

He had sat there, provoking and prodding until he had finally hit the mark; a sensitive spot that had made her anger become domineer over despondence. In that moment, Sai had figured something out, even if he didn't completely understand it yet.

It would take time for him to determine if his theory could become fact, but he had all the time in the world.

From his place seated in the chair, Sai lowered the icepack into his lap and stared at the girl who was now facing away from him, her eyes fixed on the small window at the back of the room. Sakura had slipped back into her quiet, brooding state and now seemed to be completely ignoring him.

"Sakura?" the artist called. The girl turned around to regard him uneasily.

"What is it?"

"That was quite a punch you gave me. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were a man,"

The pinkette stared over her shoulder, until finally her eyes narrowed to slits. When she finally turned away, the ANBU straightened up and lifted the icepack up to his aching head once again.

Hearing the smallest whisper of the word "_bastard" _was all the more encouragement to his cause.

**xXx**

**A/N:** Yaay I did it! I'm not going to lie, I didn't think I was going to make it through this chapter without confusing the crap out of myself. This chapter was very complicated and I will probably receive a lot of questions about it…well, if any at all. I really hope I put it in terms that are understandable. If not please feel free to ask about anything specific. Until next time,

**~Smiles**


	8. Your Weight in Tears

**Between Life and Living**

**Chapter 8: Your Weight in Tears**

**Disclaimer: **Smiles for Sai does _not_ own Naruto! Nor is she making money from writing this **fanfiction** (:

**A/N: **Hey, guys! This is chapter 8 of **'Between Life and Living'**. I'm _so_ sorry this is late! I got distracted over the weekend so I promised myself I would finish it by Monday. Bleh, what do I say about this chapter…Um, I've decided that flashbacks will be inconsistent, but for the most part you should be able to tie all of them together and understand what happened prior to the current time of the story, by the end. Anyway…

Enjoy~!

**xXx**

A few more days had gone by since Sakura's incredible, yet frightening display of new strength. The nurses, unable to figure out what to do about the several massive holes in the walls, had called in for repair and the damage had been fixed efficiently. It was still noticeable enough for Sakura to stare at it for several hours when she couldn't find anything else to do, still having yet to be released from recovery. Perhaps, there had even been the slightest chance that she was coming close to being dismissed, but surely that was all out the window by now, thanks to her…_outburst_.

_Outburst_…was that what it was? Sakura had been sure she was long past feeling enough to take out any sort of emotion on anyone besides herself. Everyone, up until this point, had done everything they could to let her have time to herself, and frankly that was all she thought she needed. The last time she'd even seen one of her friends, was when she had punched Konoha's Blue Beast, Rock Lee straight through a family's home and wound up healing his injury as a result. To make it worse, despite what she had done the taijutsu specialist had accepted her pitiful apology and the girl had made haste to her home without another word. It was from then on, that Sakura had started living in seclusion. No one bothered her; and she was grateful.

Sakura had only begun to realize just how much of her friends' lives she had missed. Through casual conversation of the nurses, she learned that just last year, her best friend Ino had finally married her laziest team mate, Shikamaru Nara. When had their relationship started? Had it been so all along? _Have I really been that oblivious? _the pinkette slumped forward and hugged her pillow.

Her thoughts swam back to her most recent visitor, who Kakashi so casually named to be his partner. _Sai_, his name was. From what Sakura had collected during his…_visit_, this Sai was a pretty strange character. With someone so absurdly obnoxious, she had to wonder just how her former sensei had managed to put up with him for _whatever_ amount of time. When did they meet? How long had they known each other? Obviously, this meant that Sai was some sort of shinobi, and by the look of his features, he couldn't have been any older than she was. Sakura couldn't recall him being a part of any of the rookie teams around three years ago. _So that has to mean…_

An abrupt, but soft knock on the door interrupted Sakura's impending conclusion.

She looked up just in time to see the man that had been troubling her thoughts. In he walked, orange book of smut in one hand and a small basket of confections in another. He greeted her with his usual eye crinkle that implied he was smiling and grabbed the chair that stood off in the corner of the room. Just a couple steps behind him, was a blonde woman; Sakura recognized her immediately.

"Sh-Shishou?"

Tsunade's eyes warily fell on the pink-haired young woman sitting up in the hospital bed. For a fleeting second, a smile passed her lips but it was gone when she remembered what she was here for. Sakura had been kept in the dark for the past few days about her condition, but after looking over her recent medical annotations and concluding that she was ready for release, it was time to fill in the details that had been withheld from her up until now.

While Kakashi made himself comfortable in his chair near Sakura's bedside, the Godaime settled herself down on the edge of the bed and placed her hand on her student's knee. The two exchanged unreadable expressions, each appearing as though they were asking questions and looking for answers; all in the same, elongated gaze. Sakura was the first to look away, her eyes becoming downcast and focused on the white linen blanketed over her legs. Tsunade apprehended the girl's slight disquietude, and removed her hand from her knee, into her own lap. She closed her amber eyes, feeling the ware and tire behind them from her long recent nights of research and examination.

"Sakura…" she began.

"We are releasing you from the hospital today—"green eyes widened at the revelation, but the woman pressed on. "However…there are some things we need to discuss…"

Things? Well, _that_ couldn't be good…

Sakura shifted herself more so to the side so that she could face her visitors, preparing herself for whatever was about to be explained. Her eyes found Kakashi's, though it appeared as though he were trying his hardest not to return her gaze. What was _that_ about? The tone in that accompanied Tsunade's next sentence answered her exactly.

"Sakura, as I'm sure you've noticed, you've undergone some alterations, both mentally and physically. That is because of the seal that I have placed on you," as she said this, Sakura lifted her fingers to touch the purple diamond on the center of her forehead. She hadn't thought about it, but it was probable that the special seal had something to do with her enhanced strength, or had even acted as an addition to the neglected use of her chakra.

For whatever reason, at that moment Kakashi decided it was a good idea to excuse himself and so he did. Her eyes followed him all the way to the door and only looked away after she watched it close. Tsunade scooted her chair more so in front of the bed so that she was now all Sakura could see. Her golden eyes narrowed, willing the girl back to attention. Sakura recognized the look of worry that now replaced the formality behind them and she dropped her gaze and looked away.

"Sakura…"

"Shishou…?"

The blonde sighed shortly and placed a hand on the pinkette's shoulder. "I know you've been through a lot, Sakura. Maybe I haven't done enough to help you back to where you need to be," she admitted.

All of these years she had been sure she'd taught her student everything she thought she would need to know and carry out with her the rest of her life, but just like herself she'd forgotten the fact that Sakura was simply a person; she needed to have both a strong interior as well as an exterior. One could only hold themselves together so well on the outside, until their insides began caving in.

"The seal that I have placed on you will easily heal any injuries you might obtain and regenerate the amount of blood you've lost over the next few days. Your chakra will be a little out of whack but it will settle down and things will fix themselves according to the way your body sees fit. Just try to control yourself and be careful where you swing your fists and you should be fine," Tsunade explained. She didn't think she needed to explain what other things the seal was capable of doing at the moment; those things would be resolved and figured out in due time.

"I won't ask you what you meant to do to yourself that night; you and I both know what your intentions were. But _Sakura_—" the woman's hand slid away gently from Sakura's shoulder and rested itself on the edge of the bed. The pinkette lifted her head to glance into Tsunade's eyes and found herself unable to look away.

"You need to remember yourself. Remember who you are and what your comrades would have wanted for you. Do you _really_ believe that Naruto and Sasuke would have sacrificed themselves for you, if they only intended for you to carry out the rest of your life full of regret and misery?"

"Shishou—"

"_Listen to me…_"

Sakura's fingers gripped the hem of the sheets and she drew her legs in and wrapped her arms around them. Tears stung at her eyes, threatening to spill and betray and abandon her in vulnerability long after she could find no more to cry.

_This isn't the place _she told herself, pressing her cheek against her knee, already feeling the fabric becoming warm and wet. _This isn't the right place to do this—_

The tears were left to flow freely as Sakura was suddenly pulled into a pair of arms and pressed into the bosom of her sensei. She blushed at first, feeling the woman's large chest beneath the side of her face, but when she realized she wasn't going to be released anytime soon, she closed her eyes; a small hiccup, and then a long-suppressed cry.

Neither of them knew how long they sat there in the small, empty room. Was it minutes? Hours? No words were exchanged; simply the disconsolate trade of mutual emotion. Sakura couldn't remember the last time she had cried like this. It had been so long since, maybe even that time…

**xXx**

_Flashback _

"_Naruto! Please let me go with you," a hand pulled and gripped tightly to the orange sleeve of a jacket. Wide cerulean eyes turned and looked into the face of another that held them with a pleading look. She was desperate and determined, just as he. She was strong and he knew she could hold her own. He couldn't recall how many times this barbaric, yet beautiful young woman had knocked him right on his ass or sent him flying across the streets of their village, all at the will of her blundering fists. He knew she was strong; and he knew she could fight._

_But there was no way he was letting her come along with him to do _this.

_Naruto ran a hand through his rain-soaked hair and put on the best smile he could muster for his pink-haired team mate. Her desperate countenance failed to falter, as he'd hoped she would cave in and relent in her plea for him to take her along_.

"Just let me go. Aren't we together in this?"

_There was a good chance that Naruto Uzumaki wasn't going to return from the mission he was about to set out on. From what he had heard, his former best friend and comrade had grown considerably strong within the last seven months since he had betrayed his native home. The reason had not been clear to him until the pinkette had confided in him about Sasuke's behavior the last time they were all together; something he had been oblivious of._

_And then, there was the recent rumor that Sasuke had killed the infamous Uchiha Itachi less than two weeks ago and formed an alliance with the supposed former leader of the now extinct Akatsuki._

_Madara Uchiha._

_Neither of them wanted to believe the gossip, but somewhere deep down within themselves, they had to admit that it was all likely to be true. Sasuke had killed his Sannin master, for better or worse, and had taken his revenge all in the same cut, but as his former sensei had forewarned, the path that he had made for himself had only corrupted and altered his former personal goals; only power was what he was after now. And with the last surviving member of his clan and the most almighty, not to mention, offering an allegiance to the misplaced Uchiha, it almost made sense for Sasuke to have accepted. _

_Something within Naruto's heart argued silently with whether or not it was wrong that he could blame the raven for leaving at first. Ten years since his self-promise of revenge, and he still lacked the strength and ability to kill the man that had destroyed his life and scarred him forever. _

_All this time, Sasuke had quietly settled for the even amount of strength both himself and his team mates had acquired over three years time, while seemingly enjoying the life that they tried their hardest to make feel pleasant for him. Now, as he stood there in the rain recalling all the times that Sasuke had forced his eventual smiles and spent their various off-days doing nothing and everything, he wondered if it was all simply a waste of valuable time in the Uchiha's eyes. _

'No…' Naruto _shook his head and turned his eyes away from Sakura's._ 'Those were times were we _all_ had fun. Weren't they?'

_The soft splash of Sakura's feet sloshing through the puddles of water pulled the blonde out of his reminiscent thoughts. Her arms wrapped around him and pulled him into an inescapable embrace. One that said she wasn't going to allow him to leave at all unless he took her with him. _

_The young man slipped an arm around the pinkette's waist and pressed her into his chest. She fit there much too easily; a thought he found more comforting than odd and that wasn't helping his resolve. Carefully, he lifted his hands to her shoulders and drew her away from him with a soft, reluctant sigh that fell from his lips and clouded in the chilled air, half upset to see her eyes so full of anguish, and half regretful that the warmth of her body had left him cold and shivering in its abandonment. _

_Her flat green orbs pinned on him the moment he released her and her hands reached to reclaim his hold again, but Naruto deflected her feeble assault and turned away. _

"_Don't follow me," was all he said, as lifted his bag to his shoulder and began to walk away. _

_He was doing this for her. For him as well, but he knew that it would be those same tears now soaked on his shirt among the raindrops dotting the rest of his clothes, that he would see should he return empty handed. Seven months had been enough time for him to do some additional training in preparation for this _once in a life time promise_. _

_He was confident when he had quietly snuck out of his house, leaving a note on the end of his dresser and an unconscious pink kunoichi in his bed fast asleep to commence the operation he had cleared with both the Hokage and his sensei. He was given permission to go alone, and that was just what he wanted. Everything had gone smoothly and according to plan, and he'd nearly reached the village gates when he'd been happened upon by the last person he'd meant to encounter on his way out._

_The thoughts that now whirled around in Naruto's head as he walked under the green gates that plopped heavy raindrops on his head were weary ones. Shaken just a bit by the last glimpse of his pink-headed lover and second-closest friend, he straightened himself up and willed himself not to look back as he walked out of the village and disappeared down the path that crossed the border._

_The pinkette's fingers gripped the rain-darkened hem of her crimson colored skirt, and when the blonde was finally out of sight, she lifted her head to the sky. The bruise-colored clouds seemed to have darkened since the time she had wasted stalling her lover with her counterproductive pleas. _

_The rain came down in sheets now, showering from the sky and cleansing the tangible sadness on her tear-stained face. Her eyes stared up unblinkingly, flat, dull green orbs welling and spilling repeatedly with the unrelenting process of tears flowing freely. It was only after the sky had begun to clear and she saw the first streak of sunshine tearing through the clouds, that she abandoned her place in the street and retreated to Naruto's house, where both had found mutual comfort for the past few weeks. _

_It was one of the first times, but not to be the last, that Sakura questioned the reason why light could exist around someone, when their world was so shrouded in darkness._

**xXx**

_End Flashback_

Sakura opened her eyes when she felt a pair of hands lifting her away by the shoulders. She blinked a few times when she found Tsunade holding her there, having momentarily forgotten where she was or what she was doing. The memories she had previously been dwelling upon gradually dissolved as the pinkette took in the present and dried the remaining tears from her face. The Hokage smoothed her student's long hair and brushed it behind her ear with gently with red-nailed fingers.

"Your physical condition is stable enough, so I am allowing you to leave the hospital today," Tsunade said, and stood up from her chair. She readjusted her green robes and smoothed out her blonde twin tails before walking to the door. When she saw the look of near-relief on Sakura's face, she frowned and turned away to press her back against the door. Sakura swung her legs over the bed and stood up, half-excited and half-alarmed at the swift contrast in her sensei's demeanor while ignoring the troublesome lengths of hair that cascaded off the edge behind her.

Tsunade crossed her arms over herself and regarded her for a long minute as if she were suddenly changing her mind about something. The pinkette's heart slowly began to sink at the idea that she might have done something without realizing to cause this.

"However…" the blonde lifted a finger to her lips and tapped them in consideration. "Instead of returning to your own home, I have a better place for you to stay for the time being. Once you check out of the hospital, Kakashi will meet you here and escort you to my office. You will meet your new house mate there," she mused and turned her back on the girl so that Sakura was unable to see the artful smile that crept onto her lips.

After the woman gone and the door had swung shut, the roseate groaned and fell back onto the bed. The heaviness she had been either been unaware of, or had become so accustomed to, seemed to have mysteriously vanished and she felt vaguely empty inside as though something had been removed. Perhaps it had been that she had just cried what had felt like her weight in tears, or the alleviating revelation that she was finally being released from this hell hole, though not to return to the comfort of her home.

The knowledge that she was going to be living with someone other than herself until further notice should have bugged her more than it currently was, but the barren feeling combined with the silence and something else unidentifiable had become enough to lull her to sleep. Sakura shifted herself onto her side, facing away from the only entrance to the room and closed her eyes, falling into slumber that for once, did not admonish her with worry.

By no means, was it meant to last at all though. For once Sakura would awake, there would be new problems to steel herself for.

**A/N:** Yaay! I finished! That means I can move on to the next chapter where the fun begins. I wonder who Sakura's new house mate will be…Well, you'll have to find out!

**Smiles~**


	9. Caving In

Between Life and Living

Chapter 9: Caving In

**A/N: **Yo! Um, there were things I wanted to include in this chapter, so I'm going to go ahead and say that it will be _next_ chapter when Sakura meets her new house mate ^^ I promise this chapter is very much enjoyable though…I definitely enjoyed it :3 Also the book that Kakashi is reading is totally straight out of my imagination and it will contribute to what he contributes to the process of Sakura's recovery. Yada…

**Note****:** Sai's birthday is tomorrow! (November 25th) HAPPY EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY SAI-CHAN! You're legal now...heh heh.

Enjoy~!

xXx

"_It's not really the greatest idea to sleep on the beach,"_

_"Well, it's not the greatest place to catch some Zs, but I suppose it does have a really nice view to wake up to, huh?"_

**xXx**

After her short slumber, Sakura was escorted from the hospital by Kakashi, who had come to pick her up and bring her to the Hokage's tower. After signing a few papers and receiving a last minute check up from one of the nurses, the pinkette and her sensei exited the hospital and walked out into the warm afternoon sunlight.

Those first few rays that hit her skin instantly melted away the cold, which was a relief because she was starting to believe she was going to turn into an icicle soon.

The sun, and the rest of the world seemed more vibrant than she remembered in comparison to the bland whiteness of her recent inhabitance. Trees swayed under the guidance of the gentle afternoon wind, and the soft brush of the grass under their feet as they walked off path and onto the street reminded her of the former days when she and the now disband team seven would venture through various forests during their missions, and spar in random areas when time would allow them the opportunity. Even after Sasuke had left, it had still been Naruto, Kakashi and herself that carried out missions; not as team seven, but as three jonin who were a little closer than the average shinobi squad. The sparring sessions continued, but they had never felt the same. Not with their fourth member; not without Sasuke.

The light, sound smack of the book in the copy nin's hand stole Sakura's attention back to the present. She was surprised to see that his choice of literature today was not the usual orange book of smut, but a faded yellow paperback adorned with some fancy red cursive on the front. She managed to catch a glimpse of the title before he slipped it inside of his back pocket.

'_Rosette_'

Well, _that_ was a change. The bewildered pinkette was just about to question her sensei's new-found taste in non-pornographic literature when he turned his downcast gaze onto her and his visible eye curved into that of its happy crease.

"How are you feeling today, Sakura?" he asked.

Sakura's sight lingered on the book wedged in his back pocket until she heard his voice and looked away. The question, usually when asked from anyone else, was something she would normally waste no time on responding to with a mechanical answer like, "I'm fine," or "Good,"

The question had been asked several times over the course of her stay at Konoha's infirmary. It was routine for nurses or doctors to ask such things of their patients, but they never wanted anything more than an informal answer; something that told them how she _really_ felt.

However, she knew that Kakashi was seeking no formal reply from her; he wanted the truth.

But did she really want to give it to him?

The two were turning the corner of the winding street now. The cozy little row of accommodating family-owned shops was especially busy today, each attracting a various amount of both returning and new customers. Children, shinobi and civilian alike gave chase across the streets and back, pursuing a ball to pass the time while their parents did their shopping. The sounds of their laughter and the echo of their innocent banter felt familiar, but unusual to her at the same time. Perhaps, at one time her ears had become so accustomed to the noise that she had learned to blend it well into the background of whatever thoughts were on her mind in the days that she would wander with ease throughout the village.

Now they were strange; and they bothered her.

"Sakura?"

"Wh-what?" her head reeled away from the glimpse of the children disappearing around the corner, one child ahead of them and running like mad with the ball tucked in his arms. A giddy expression contorted his soft, innocent features.

"You haven't answered my question," the copy nin reminded her as he tucked his gloved hands into his pockets. Hadn't she? How did she manage to get so far away in her thoughts?

Maybe it was because she still hadn't found a way to answer him yet.

"I'm…" she began. The silver-haired man looked down on her sternly with a narrowed eye, effortlessly crushing any idea of getting away with a one-worded reply. Sakura's shoulders sagged in defeat and she too slid her hands into the pockets of her black shorts; a reclaimed habit that had rubbed off on her since the time she had spent over the three years getting to know the guy. _Really_ know him.

"I'm—"

"Watch out lady!"

_Crash!_

Sakura wobbled in mid-step seconds after something solid abruptly slammed into her stomach. Her hands flew out in a defensive manner, but she drew them back and righted herself after she realized the projectile had already bounced off her and was now cradled in the hands of a dark-haired child toppled over at her feet. He crawled behind her legs and knelt down as the group of children that had been chasing him up until now began to swarm around the two shinobi, all with anxious looks etched onto their tiny faces.

"We want that ball back," said the voice of the tallest kid. His eyes were opaque and his hair was long and dark brown, pulled back into a loose ponytail that tied at the very end. The boy had a gruff look about him that informed Sakura that he was a ninja, while it was clear that the others around him were mostly civilians. That, and something was awfully _familiar_ about him…she couldn't put her finger on it.

"Give it," the girl beside him echoed. Her appearance was that of blonde and green-eyed, and like her friend, she wore shinobi attire.

Sakura understood the setup of the situation, and without a moment's hesitation turned and crouched down next to the boy trembling behind her. Kakashi remained quiet, but a flicker of interest glinted over his visible eye.

"Are you okay?" the pinkette whispered, raising a hand and placing it on the boy's head. He lifted his dark eyes to her own and gave a sheepish nod, but it was clear that he was truly frightened. The kunoichi glanced over her shoulder to see that Kakashi was now standing in front of her blind side, and from the looks of it he was regarding the group of children with a look she could only imagine was nothing short of intimidating; having half of your face covered could give one that sort of impression.

Sakura turned and placed her hands gently on the shoulders of the boy. Her heart nearly sank as she noticed how fragile they felt, and the way they had begun to shake.

"I…I was just having fun…I didn't mean to…cause any trouble," he insisted, wiping the tears away from his dirt-streaked face. His eyes watered again and she could tell he was trying to force them away, but they instead spilled over when his blue eyes squeezed shut. A frown marred Sakura's sad expression when the cerulean hues were stolen away from her sight. He was another person again when he opened those eyes. Sakura felt her own prick with the sharp sting of threatening tears when she realized who she was seeing; Naruto.

_Flashback_

"_It's not really the greatest idea to sleep on the beach, Sakura"_

_The rumbling echo of thunder in the distance and the sweetly bantering timbre of an all too familiar voice caused Sakura to open her eyes. A flash of thunder ripped through the bruise-colored clouds, and a corresponding droplet struck the surface of the placidly rolling waves. The pinkette had been sunbathing earlier that morning and had somehow dozed off up until late that afternoon. _

_The voice of reason was admittedly right. She had been out of the water for a good few hours after her nap and now as she sat up, she found herself stuck with grains of wet sand and her bathing suit damp and clinging to her body. Sakura, had she not known better, could have sworn she'd been hit with a giant wave, but the clouds in the sky were tell-tale enough of the impending storm. The rain was already coming down in sheets, spitting at the blackened sea without relent and in a way that made it obscure whether or not the water was coming down or falling up. _

_"Well, it's not the greatest place to catch some Zs, but I suppose it does have a really nice view to wake up to, huh?"_

_The blonde standing off to her right looked down upon her with a face-splitting grin. His yellow hair and bangs matted on his head from the downpour were slightly longer than she remembered, and the lengths that had not been subdued by the rain stuck up defiantly in random places. His face, long ago having lost the last of its childish and immature circularity appeared more masculine and defined. The visible parts of his lithe, tanned body clothed in a dark shirt over a thinner fishnet one, and nondescript black pants looked slightly more muscular and noticeably well-toned. His cerulean eyes were sharp, yet gentle, holding the traces of both ware and buoyancy that told of the quiet self-struggle between life and living he endured in the existence that was the day-to-day of being a shinobi. _

_Looking at him was like seeing the sun and the moon for the first time in the same moment. The shine around his smile was bright and beautiful as he extended a hand which she took and pulled herself to her feet, but as soon as she righted herself and looked at him, it was gone and there was dejection rimmed with an inanimate, luminous glow on the surface of his eyes. _

_Sakura knew both expressions well enough to understand that there was something wrong. Letting go of the boy's hand, she speared her fingers through her wet pink locks and wiped the excess rain away from her face. The two of them stood, untroubled by the wrath of the unforeseen weather as the storm raged on. It was after a sound crack of thunder and a spark that scorched the sand, that Naruto reclaimed her hand and began to guide her up the slant of beach and toward the boardwalk. _

_They said nothing for a while, leaving each other to their own, unknown thoughts until Sakura decided to speak._

"_When did you get back?" _

_Their feet reached the last of the planks and they stepped onto the solid wet street of the village. _

"_An hour ago," Naruto replied, releasing her hand to slip both of his own into his pockets. His blue eyes were downcast and the rain dripped through his hair and down his temples. Sakura eyed a particular drop that slid past his cheek and rolled down his neck to disappear into the matieral of his shirt. _

_Only an hour ago, and it could have been drenched will blood. _

_His blood? _His_ blood? Sakura shivered; she didn't want to think about it._

_The two shinobi turned the corner and strolled down the next block of small, cluttered shops that stood on either side of them on the narrow road. Not a soul was to be found, aside from a civilian or two sweeping the dirt and leaves from their porch to wash away in rain. Sakura bit down on her bottom lip anxiously and drew it into her mouth. His premature arrival minus the person she'd been hoping to see told her all she needed to know; but she knew he still expected her to ask._

"_What happened?" it was a pretty vague question, but the both of them knew where their light conversation had taken a turn. _

_He had been expecting her to ask. He'd thought of all the things he could say that would leave the sentiment between them cracked, rather than broken, at least until the time they had to part ways and go home. All of his words and all of his pre-elaborated explanations had sounded no less than appropriate as he'd conceived them on the way back to the village. Now, as he was preparing to say them, he realized they were ridiculous and wouldn't do just in place of what Sakura truly needed to hear._

_Sakura was a cruel woman; for making him repeat what she already knew, but he was probably just as cruel for the promise that he had broken. _

"_I couldn't…" no, no this already wasn't sounding right. Too blatant; too simple. Too conclusively true. _

_The pink-haired girl simply nodded. Her reaction was little to nothing, but Naruto knew what she was withholding. He had allowed her life-long crush, the man that she pined after for years and years to slip through his fingers and get away more easily than he would ever tell her. He'd struggled with Sasuke, in both their verbal and physical skirmish over the path that he had abandoned them for. Naruto had pursued and approached Sasuke with the intention of bringing him back, be it kicking and screaming, but in the end he had ended up letting him go. _

_It had finally occurred to him that to Sasuke, his long-term goal meant his entire life. Even though he'd come to terms with this and their parting had been one that ended peacefully, he still wished that there was something he could have done for his friend; but he knew there was not. _

_Naruto and Sakura were just nearing the end of the street. Sakura lived a little ways from the beach, while Naruto lived further away where his home faced the lake. The pinkette, giving her hair a tousling shake with her hand, turned to the blonde with a thin smile being her choice of a parting gesture. _

_Was this it? This was the end of the conversation he had sweated bullets just planning for? _

_Sakura leaned in and gave his cheek a small peck before turning away from him with a barely audible good-bye, doing so just swiftly enough that he was able to catch a glimpse of the slight, watery glint in her dim jade orbs. _

_No way was it ending like _this.

_Naruto's hand reached out and caught the kunoichi around the wrist, his fingers grasping firmly enough to pull her back. Her bare feet skidded backward, splashing up a cold spray of water in the puddle through which they were dragged, and his arms were around her before she had the time to elicit a startled cry. The blonde held her snug in his clothe-dampened embrace and pressed his lips against the top of her head. Sakura, at a loss for words, stood there unmoving._

"_Sakura…come on," the boy pleaded, lips mumbling against her wet coral threads. The scent of the rain mixed with a faint tropical fragrance of shampoo arrested all of his sense at once and he sighed and closed his eyes. _

_His hold was tight, and Sakura knew he wasn't going to release her until she revealed the emotions flooding inside of her. _

_She didn't want to break down right now; didn't want to show him even a little that she was disappointed. His promise had been made whole-heartedly, but she knew what she was asking could be unattainable._

_Tears stung her eyes and rolled down her cheeks to mix with the rain as she lifted her hands to her face to wipe them away. Naruto's head lowered to press his lips against the shell of her ear._

"_It's no use," he whispered with a soft chuckle. The sound vibrated against her ear and sent warm chills throughout her body, causing her to shiver. "You can hide your feelings and say you're fine with it, but it's the same thing as lying to yourself. You're not fooling anyone but you," _

_He was right, and she should have known better. Here she was again, trying to protect his feelings when really, all she was doing was making the both of them feel even worse. _

_Naruto's arms gradually released her and gave her enough room so that she could turn and press herself against his chest. Her warm tears leaked into his shirt as his hand pressed gently against the back of her head. The tightness she had pent up inside of herself for so long, waiting with a figuratively held breath until the moment of his return suddenly caved in and flooded out into a torrent of emotion; the embankment was broken. Her walls of defense were crumbling away._

_The two of them stood there at the end of the street, Naruto allowing the girl in his arms to cry to her heart's content with the safety of his own form hiding her away from the world in her vulnerable state. Things hadn't gone as he'd planned, but perhaps this was better. For too long, he had put up with her smiling facades and her cheerful pretenses. The thought of the somehow returning with their friend and living happily the rest of their days was out of the window. He was back now, broken-promised and empty handed, and she needed to know that it was okay to be disappointed with him; it was okay for her to feel this way._

_After the pinkette's tears had finally subsided, she gave a congested sniffle and lifted her face from the blonde's chest. The warm glow that outlined his oceanic hues was clouded over with a stratum of gloom. He was sad too, and he would, for once allow her to see it. The shinobi gazed at each other for a moment, and then without a word, slowly slipped away. _

_His fingers hooked around her own and then his hand fell to his side, as she turned and took off on her own path down the rainy street, bare feet padding in the puddles while her left hand carried a pair of nondescript pink beach sandals at her side. Naruto watched her until she was no more than a tiny pink dot that soon disappeared around the corner, and then turned back to the street behind him to walk himself home._

_End Flashback_

"We're waiting!"

"Be quiet, Haruka," the sound voices of the children behind her pulled Sakura back into the present of reality. The boy kneeling in front of her stared back at her with round and curious, open blue eyes. She smiled when she saw he had stopped shaking and wiped the last remaining tear, still in mid-roll away from his cheek with her thumb.

"It's okay," she told him. "I know you were scared, but even when you're afraid you should never hide your feelings. How will people know how you feel if you don't let them know?"

Kakashi, who was still standing in front of her, slowly lifted the book he had withdrawn from his pocket and turned his head slightly to look over his shoulder.

"Come on," Sakura got to her feet and extended her hand to the boy still sitting on the ground. He looked up at her tentatively before grabbing it and standing beside her. The group of children still scattered around them suddenly erupted into a series of whispers.

"Hey, he's crying," the girl next to the boy who Sakura now recognized as a member of the Hyuuga clan nudged her friend in the side with her elbow. "We didn't mean to make him cry, did we, Ichi?"

The boy called Ichi shrugged away and crossed his arms over himself. When he took a step forward, the small boy behind Sakura cowered back and hugged her leg. Kakashi stepped aside, and leaned against the wall under the roofed shade of a nearby shop, slipping the book back inside his pocket once again, though it appeared he had little interest in what was currently taking place; oh, but he _did_.

Closing the distance between himself and Sakura, the Hyuuga dropped his arms to his side and stared up into the face of the kunoichi. She looked down at him uncertainly, but did not remove herself from where she stood. Ichi's opaque eyes flitted to said fugitive toy-stealer behind her, and regarded him with an unreadable countenance.

"We didn't mean to make Hiro cry. We were all just playing, but we didn't know we were going to make him cry," the Hyuuga spoke.

"Yeah, we thought he was stealing our ball," piped the blonde girl called Haruka.

"I wasn't…" the dark-haired boy, Hiro, peeked out from behind Sakura and timidly stumbled over to the Hyuuga to hand out the blue bouncy ball. "I…I just wanted to play,"

"Hn," Ichi huffed and took the ball, only to shove it back into the hands of the boy. "Well then. Start running, because you're it,"

The boy only had a second to turn and give the pinkette a hopeful grin before taking off down the street with the other children chasing behind him. After they had disappeared around the corner, the sound of slow clapping echoed from the wall beside her. Kakashi lowered his hands and pushed away from the building. Sakura eyed him with a quizzical look, her face, for whatever reason, beginning to flush with heat.

"Wh-what was that about…?"

"You tell me," was all the copy nin said. The pair resumed their lazy stride down the road to the Hokage's tower without words for the longest of minutes. It was only after they'd reached the sidewalk that wound around into the path of their final destination, that Sakura began to think about the boy with the wide blue eyes; the big white grin. So much of him reminded her of Naruto, and how he was here at her side in one moment and gone in a flash. She tried to remember the cheerless expression ever appearing on his face as she had in her previous memory, but strangely her mind would not recall such a thing as it had back then.

Her thoughts instead swam back to the recent conversation that the silver-haired ANBU and herself had been having moments before the incident. The question that he had, she decided, would now receive an answer.

Her hand stopped to rest on the handle of the double doors to the Hokage's office, and before she pulled it open, she paused.

"Kakashi," she mumbled, eyes becoming fixed on the chipped red paint of the door in front of her. The man looked at her expectantly, but said nothing in reply.

"I'm sad,"

Kakashi's fingers twitched for the phantom book in his left pocket, but dropped his hand at his side when he remembered that he had replaced it. Instead, he placed his hand over her own, and pulled the door open for her. "I know you are," was all he said. He stood there holding it open until she walked ahead of him, and then with a small glance over his shoulder, he too, disappeared inside.

**xXx**

**A/N: **Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Don't hit me, don't hit me -hides- I know, there wasn't any Sai in this chapter…I liked it and it was enjoyable to write, but I promise next chapter will include Sai and Sakura's second encounter and they will be liv—oops…should I have said that? xP

**Smiles~**


	10. The Swing of Life

**Between Life and Living **

**Chapter 10: The Swing of Life**

**A/N: Chapter 10! That's all I have to say ^^;;**

Enjoy~

**xXx**

"Well, what did I tell you? Worked like a charm, didn't it? Though you were quite lucky it didn't end worse than it did," Tsunade smirked and gave the dark-haired boy at her desk a light smack on the head. The pain was gone for the most part, but Sai still winced slightly under her small assault. She chuckled and simply sat back at her desk as the former ROOT member readjusted himself and settled down in the chair in front of it.

It was a few days after his visit to the hospital and he'd come to the Hokage's office after she had requested to see him. There, she had asked for the details of the first part of his mission, and then filled him in on his next assignment.

_Flashback_

"_Come in," came the voice of Tsunade before Sai could even raise his hand to knock on the door to the Hokage's office. He lowered his hand slowly to the doorknob, gave it a turn and then walked in. _

_The blonde was seated behind her desk, and a smirk curled on her lips when she saw the pack of ice the nin was holding against the side of his head. The pain hadn't left him since the day it'd been inflicted._

"_So she got you, did she?" she said with a soft chuckle. A small frown curved down on the boy's mouth, but he said nothing until he reached the front of her desk. His dark eyes shifted uncertainly to both sides of the room as if he were expecting something to jump out and attack him._

"_Sakura Haruno…is a barbarian in a woman's body,"_

_The blonde let out a laugh and leaned forward at her desk. "That's my Sakura. Glad to see that she's still down there somewhere in all of that…" the woman trailed off and silently tapped her nails on the wooden surface. _

_She cleared her throat and then continued. "Well…since it seems that you've been able to work out some sort of tactic, I am going to give you the next part of your assignment. As of today, Sakura has been released from the hospital. As an unstable patient, it probably wasn't the best thing to do, but Sakura needs to be in a place where she isn't constantly secluded. That is one of her biggest problems. Instead, she needs to spend some time among people her age and get back into the swing of life,"_

"_The swing of life?" Sai repeated. He wasn't even sure what that meant, but he nodded all the same while hoping the rest of what she had to say would make it clear what she was trying to tell him._

"_Yes. Currently, all of Sakura's former friends are away on their own individual assignments, and I am sending Kakashi away on another. Therefore, as of today, I want you Sai…"_

"_Yes, ma'am?"_

"_I want you to take Sakura Haruno into your home for the time being. To keep an eye on her. Do you think you can do that for me?"_

_Sai shuddered inwardly at the thought. He was going to take _that_ scary woman into his home? He wished he had been informed about this sooner or he would have had the walls in his house re-enforced with steel. _

_The Godaime's golden eyes went from hard and demanding to soft and pleading when she saw the doubtful expression on the ANBU's face. Tsunade wanted so much to take Sakura in and look after the girl, herself, but she knew the council would disapprove of such an intimate gesture and say it was an inappropriate thing for a Hokage to do. _

_The young man, because of his close partnership with Hatake Kakashi, and what she had discovered through the annotations of his ROOT files, was her last hope in saving the former legendary Sannin apprentice from her own self-destruction._

_Something in the woman's eyes made Sai feel uncomfortable and strange. He recalled receiving the same look from Kakashi whenever the subject of his past team would come up in idle conversation. He'd only seen Naruto and Sasuke once during the war but Sakura had not been around at the time, so he had settled for the bits of information that Kakashi would mention when talking about team seven. _

_The sad glint in his eye when he would speak of his late friends was much like what he was seeing in the Hokage's eyes right now. It was something he didn't really understand, but he could register it as being the very same thing. Kakashi missed his friends and was worried about losing the very last one that he had. And though the little orange book of smut hadn't made its appearance as of recent, he knew that his partner was still harboring those feelings. What was that thing you felt when you were affected by unhappiness or grief?_

"_Sadness," Sai said aloud. Tsunade's amber orbs widened slightly and a small blush touched her face._

"_Sai…" she mumbled, folding her hands on the desk._

_The ANBU gripped the painted mask in his hand; he had come to his resolve._

"_I will do it," he said. Tsunade lifted her eyes from her desk and a grateful smile traced up on her face. She was happy and relieved to hear those words and felt as though some of the weight in her heart had finally been lifted._

_Her lids closed for a minute, feeling all the worried thoughts inside her mind begin to subside and disappear._

_When she opened them she saw that Sai was replacing his mask and his head was turned to the picture sitting on the edge of her desk. Tsunade smiled down at the candid shot of Sakura and the rest of team seven all making goofy faces. The memory was pleasant, and forever set in a silver frame where she could always remember it. _

'Even if this is all I can do, I hope it's enough. Naruto…Sasuke. Will you help me too?'

_End Flashback_

An abrupt knock interrupted the silence between the Hokage and the artist. Both turned their heads to the door at the sound of a slow squeak and then footsteps entering the room.

Kakashi peeked in first, his head sticking through the door with a happy eye-curve and then walked in all the way, followed by a familiar pink-haired girl with jade-colored eyes.

She looked curiously in Sai's direction, but said nothing. Sai grimaced behind his mask, but knew she didn't recognize him, nor see this because of it.

"Ah, Kakashi! Sakura," Tsunade smiled when she saw the pair and gestured to the seats in front of her desk. Sai had already moved to the far corner of the room and was leaning against the wall as he watched them sit down. Sakura turned her head to look at him again, this time a hint of interest in her eyes. A thin smirk made its way onto the ANBU's lips. She would soon find out who he was.

"Sakura," Tsunade began.

Sakura looked at her sensei expectantly; still unsure of the reason she had been called here. She measured the amount of thoughtfulness behind the woman's eyes, and then decided that, whatever it was, it was something serious.

"Due to your recent misconduct, I have decided that you will no longer be living by yourself,"

Sakura shifted in her chair, but said nothing. She had already known this, but she had not been told who the person was. Perhaps it was a guard ninja of some sort, or even the ANBU that was standing in the corner behind them. She huffed at the idea of having someone like that pacing around her house and waiting for the moment when she would do something drastic.

She would just have to be more careful; that was all.

"Alright," the pinkette agreed. Not like she had a choice. "So then, who is this person that's supposed to be living with me?"

Tsunade's eyes shifted to the left side of the room.

Just as she'd thought.

"ANBU-san, will you please come over here?"

The masked figure nodded once and walked over to the side of the desk. Sakura stared at him, looking for any significant signs that would tell her who he could be, but there were none to be seen, aside from the strands of short dark hair she could see coming out slightly from either side of his mask.

_Who was that? _the pinkette wracked her brain, inwardly cursing herself for drawing a blank when trying to recall what ANBU she knew of that had inky black hair like that.

Her blood ran cold when one stray thought came to surface.

_Sasuke had black hair…it wasn't that short though. Longer; inconsistent spikes and lots of flyaway strands. This is too short and—_

She didn't want to think about this anymore.

"ANBU-san, you may remove your mask now," Tsunade said. A pale hand rose to the painted disguise and slowly slid it away to reveal a face just as light in color.

The chair that Sakura was once sitting in was thrown backward and it fell to the carpet floor with a muffled wooden clatter.

"_YOU!_"

Sai smiled back at her and lowered the mask to his side.

"Yes, hello," he mused in a pleasant manner. Green orbs honed like viperous daggers glowered in his direction, but his false, cheerful countenance only grew that much larger.

"What a scary face you are making at me," he added as an afterthought, and tilted his head, smile still intact. The flustered pinkette's hands balled into fists at her sides. Kakashi and Tsunade exchanged doubtful expressions, but both had gone unnoticed by the quarrelling younger shinobi in the room.

"I can't have this guy in my house," Sakura insisted, turning to the amused-looking Hokage and completely ignoring the ANBU's baiting comment. The blonde's entertained expression swiftly dissolved into that of a serious one.

"That's perfectly fine," she replied.

Sakura let out a sigh of relief, but tensed up at the words that came next.

"You will be living with him,"

"What…?"

Tsunade leaned forward at her desk and her brow furrowed. "Listen to me, Sakura. I'm doing this for a reason…" her voice became low and humorless.

Sai moved behind her and dragged the chair back into its previous position just in time for her to collapse into it with a quiet, defeated sigh. There wasn't a way for her to get out of this; she didn't know why she had even tried to argue about it in the first place.

Her emotions were pulling back and forth in a loose game of tug of war, detesting the idea of having someone that she especially didn't know watching over her like a hawk in every minute of her life, while frankly not giving a damn if she was trying to get away with murder, and it was their job to do something about it.

In the end, again, her feelings didn't matter here. Her reply would have to be an informal one.

"Fine…" the kunoichi mumbled, her eyes becoming downcast.

Tsunade nodded and then pulled a pen and paper out from her desk drawer.

"I need you to sign this paper saying that you understand the conditions of your restriction. You are not to go anywhere without Sai, and you will listen to him under my orders. Do you understand, Sakura?"

The pinkette's eyes narrowed slightly with disdain, but she nodded silently and then took the pen from the woman's hand to sign her name.

After she was finished, she set the pen down and Tsunade folded up the paper and slipped it into a file on her desk. The file name read _Sakura Haruno. _Of all the shuffling and prying through the various files in the Hokage's office, Sakura had made an effort not to look through her own. She knew without looking what was inside, and the contents had probably gotten worse since then.

"The three of you are free to leave now. Sakura, Sai will return with you to your house to collect your things. Starting today, you will be living with him,"

"Yes, ma'am," the ANBU complied respectively. He hooked the band of the mask in his hand onto the loop of his belt and walked to the door. Sakura remained in her seat with her arms crossed over herself.

Kakashi was just getting up to leave, when Tsunade cleared her throat.

"Kakashi. Stay here, I still need to discuss the details of your mission. Sakura…?"

Sakura's head snapped up and she looked at her sensei. "Y-yes…"

"You should be going now," the blonde gestured to the door. Sakura turned her head around and scowled when she saw the dark-haired boy smiling back at her cheekily outside the hall.

With a reluctant sigh, the pinkette stood up from her chair and trudged out of the room. Once they were alone, Sai's smile fell into his normal stoic expression and the two of them made their way down the winding hall and out of the building.

Sakura couldn't believe this, but at the same time it made a lot of sense. Shortly after her parents' deaths, Tsunade had become somewhat of a mother-figure to her. Her teachings had been both effective in her life as a shinobi, as well as a young woman, and Sakura had to wonder if that was always the woman's intention. She knew that the results of her efforts in trying to save the lives she had lost had never been the effect of something that her sensei hadn't taught her. She never once pointed a finger or blamed anyone but herself, and this time she would have to apply the same attitude in this situation.

Somewhere at the end of her subconscious, she had to admit that her decision was wrong, and she had been thinking of herself over everyone else when she was making it.

She didn't approve of the penalty at all, but she would have to endure it; at least until her restrictions were lifted.

**xXx**

The small tinkling of a bell left Sakura's thoughts to trail off and abandon her back into the present. Her eyes searched the street for the source of the sound. Sai, already knowing what had made the sound, shifted his eyes away from the woman and followed her gaze. For a time, she had zoned out after they'd left the Hokage's office and neither one of them had said a word since. He wondered what sort of things she was thinking. She wasn't as easy to read as Kakashi, but he figured that had something to do with the fact that he hadn't known her long enough.

If she was anything like how Kakashi had described, she would be difficult to get along with, but he had found his ammunition; he was well-prepared.

"Ice cream! Momma, I want ice cream!"

A small girl and her mother stood outside of a small ice cream shop. The child anxiously pulled on the hem of her mother's long skirt, until the woman finally looked down and took her daughter's hand.

"Not today, Kikyo. Another time, okay?"

Sakura's expression mirrored the little girl's, as the mother pulled her daughter along down the sidewalk with her and disappeared behind the corner. For some reason it made her feel sad. She wasn't sure why.

"Would you like some ice cream, Miss Sakura?" the ANBU beside her spoke up. Sakura's eyes shifted to her escort. He was smiling that smile again. What was up with that, anyway?

Looking over at the ice cream shop again, Sakura realized that she really did want some ice cream. Unfortunately, she was ridiculously low on money due to the lack of missions she had taken over the past three years. Since her retirement as a shinobi, she began doing civilian work, such as shop management and other things of the sort. Her friends were always on missions, so it was a rare opportunity if she ever got to see them.

The sweet, mouth-watering aroma of strawberry, chocolate and vanilla all sailed through the air, almost as if they meant to surround her and taunt her into admitting to her sudden craving. Sai studied the look on her face and rivaled it with the same expression Kakashi always wore when they would walk past the bookstore, and happen upon one of those obscene novels that he didn't have in his collection yet.

_Desire_

"You would like some ice cream, wouldn't you Sakura?" the artist tilted his head as she continued to stare on longingly across the street. He grabbed her hand and began to drag her over to the shop where the doors were already being held open for a woman and a couple children who were racing inside.

"H-hey! What are you—"

An unpleasant chill washed over her body as Sai pulled her through the door of the shop and inside. She shivered at the drastic change in temperature, but her other senses soon became too overwhelmed by the various delicious scents of frozen desserts for her to think about it.

Sai led her to the front counter and pulled out his wallet. The man waiting to take their order stared at her expectantly, and when she turned to Sai he gave her the same, waiting look.

"Sai…but I don't have any—"

"Two ice cream cones please. One chocolate and one strawberry," the artist said. The man nodded once and then turned to begin making their frozen treats.

Sakura shot the ANBU a panicked glance when the man returned with their ice cream cones, handing the strawberry one to Sakura and the chocolate one to Sai, and then taking the money when Sai paid for them.

"This is only enough for one," the man smiled, and then looked to the pinkette. She blushed furiously and set the cone on the counter. "Sir, are you only paying for you own?"

"I am," Sai flashed the man a grin, and then turned to make as though he were about to walk away.

"Wh-what?" the bewildered kunoichi exclaimed, her hand gripping and tightening around the base of the cone until she could feel drips of coldness running through her fingers. She was completely at a loss for words. What was he _doing_ this for?

"B-but…you…What's even going on?"

The gradually simmering frustration within the pinkette suddenly began to bubble. Lifting the frozen treat from the counter, she drew it back and let it fly from her hand. It sailed through the air in Sai's direction as he continued to the door, and he only stopped once it hit the back of his head with a sound wet _smack._

"You _jerk_!"

Ahh, and there it was…

The entire shop had fallen to silence.

Sakura smirked with the satisfaction of her deed, as the cold, creamy substance slowly slid down the back of his inky hair, coating it and leaving a messy trail of pink on his neck and down his shirt before it fell to the floor with a deafening _plop_. The ANBU slowly turned with a barely noticeable shiver, eyes lowered to the obscene pool of pink melting and flooding through the cracks of the grout.

When they lifted to Sakura, his unreadable expression swiftly turned into a smile.

"That was really cold, Sakura. It's a good thing that wasn't your ice cream cone, huh?"

_What?_

Sai ran a hand through the slick and sticky mess that the now ruined treat had made of his hair and flicked the excess drops away from his fingers. Sakura looked down at her own hand, and then shot an embarrassed, apologetic look at the man staring bewilderedly behind her.

"I…" she mumbled, looking down and fidgeting with shame.

"I'm sorry..." she trailed off, and looked up when she felt a hand lift her own. Sai pressed a napkin into her palm and wiped away the remains of ice cream before placing the chocolate cone into her hand. She fixed him with a confused expression, but he said nothing and began heading towards the door again.

"S-Sai, wait! We didn't…I didn't pay for this…" she said, dragging her feet reluctantly once they were outside of the shop. Sakura stared down at the chocolate swirled treat and held it out to him. "And…this is yours,"

"It isn't," he insisted, now using another napkin to blot the ice cream from the back of his hair. He balled up the paper and tossed it into the trash bin beside him on the sidewalk. The stickiness had left some of his hair sticking up in a strange array of spikes near the nape of his neck, but he didn't seem to notice.

"The ice cream was free. It was buy one get one free. I noticed the sign outside of the shop, but I am not a fan of sweet things," the ANBU pointed to the small sign in the window. Sakura stared at it and felt a blush creeping into her cheeks.

What an idiot she had been. How had she not seen that? And if that were the truth, then that had to mean that…

Sakura growled when she remembered the smile on the man's face back in the ice cream shop.

"You totally set me up back there!"

"Wrong," Sai deadpanned. He leaned over and caught a drip of chocolate running down the side of the cone in her hand and licked it from his finger, afterward making a face of disapproval. "You simply failed to pay attention to the signs around you,"

"B-but! The guy at the counter—"

"—was only teasing you," Sai finished for her. He took her by the hand and began leading her down the street. "You should probably eat that before it melts, though. I did pay for at least one of them," he suggested.

Sakura stared down at the melting treat in her hand. She felt so bad now, and still so frustrated that she wanted to take it and hurl it at the back of his head all over again. Unfortunately, chocolate was her favorite flavor and she wasn't about to let it go to such a waste. Bringing the cone to her lips, she took a tentative lick and smiled when she found the taste more satisfying than she had imagined it would be.

Her eyes closed for a second, indulging in the pleasure assaulting her taste buds and when she opened them, she blushed when she saw Sai glancing over his shoulder with his cheesy smile.

_Unbelievable _she thought again, inwardly cursing the ANBU. Sakura wrestled with the combination of pleasure and frustration as he gave her an innocent wink and then turned his attention back to the street.

Unbelievable, indeed. But nothing short of curious.

**xXx**

**A/N:** Tah-dah! Until next time.

**Smiles~**


	11. Time Has Changed

**Between Life and Living **

**Chapter 11: Time has Changed**

**A/N:** I'm so happy for getting so many reviews on this story! I feel excited when I see them, and I am glad that you are all happy with it so far!

Thank you very much!

Enjoy~

**xXx**

The trip to Sakura's house was a short one, as she did not live far from the village. That and, unknown to Sakura, Sai had already memorized his way from the last time he had been there.

As they neared the small winding stone path that lead up to the front porch, Sakura withdrew a key from her pocket and walked up the steps to unlock the door. Sai waited silently on the edge of the small 'welcome' carpet beside her as she fumbled with the key, trying not to notice the miniscule, but visible splotches of dark red over the light brown. It wasn't the fact that there was blood on the carpet that bothered Sai; it was the fact that it reminded him so well of the night when he had first seen his partner in an absolute panic.

Something that truly bothered Sai, and he never wanted to see it again.

"There, got it" Sakura announced. The front door squeaked open and she walked inside. Sai lifted his gaze from the carpet when a cool draft sailed over him and into the warm afternoon air. He stepped inside with her and gently closed the door.

The interior of the house was nothing spectacular, but it had a certain, pleasant air about it that told of the young woman that lived there. On the end table, near the front hall was a row of picture frames. Taking a closer look, Sai noticed that the photos were all of either Sakura's friends from team seven, or other people he suspected were her parents.

All of them wore happy faces and stood next to Sakura who smiled especially in the middle of each photo. The picture on the very end of the table was one that appeared to be the most recent. Sai recognized the two men in the photo as Naruto and Sasuke, both with an arm slung around each of the pinkette's shoulders while she did the same to them. The three posed for the snap-shot with grins and a peace sign held around Sakura's left side, while bunny ears were held over her head from the right.

Sai was trying to figure out who was making what gesture when he heard Sakura calling out to him.

"Sai?"

"Yes?" the ANBU turned away from the table and walked out of the hall. Sakura stared at him suspiciously for a moment, but then reeled away from the hall and started up the stairs. Sai blinked after her curiously, and silently followed behind her.

**xXx**

Sakura's room was an absolute horror.

When they reached the door, Sakura had twisted the knob a few times and had to pushed the door open with a little more force than Sai thought should be necessasary, but when they stepped inside, he immediately knew why.

The floor was impossible to see.

Was that a _sandwich_ on the desk, or an old shoe?

Books of all kinds littered the floor. Scrolls opened to the fullest and twisted across the bed and over chairs along with clothes, weapons, bits of trash, you name it; it was there.

Sai, himself, was a fairly neat person aside from the various pieces of art he had on easels around his small studio of an apartment. He'd never owned a house and that was fine with him, and although the amount of extra space would have been nice, he never had any particular complaints about the living quarters that had been given to him.

He'd been inside of Kakashi's apartment on a number of occasions when asked to come in for some tea before their missions, and he thought he knew the definition of disaster, but apparently not.

_This_ was an absolute catastrophe.

And Sai, being the selectively opinionated person that he was, felt the need to give his two cents on what he thought of it.

"I believe this is what they call a _pig's sty_," he mumbled wretchedly, lifting up an article of clothing and dropping it onto the floor so he could sit on the edge of the bed. Sakura stumbled over a pair of shoes peeking out from underneath it, and walked over to the dresser to begin tossing out whatever clean garments she could find to take with her. Normally she would have complained along with him, but admittedly, she was the one who had made the mess and she didn't have any intentions of cleaning it up anytime soon. Cleaning meant you cared what people thought about the way you lived; Sakura didn't.

"There's a suitcase in the closet over there," she offered, pointing behind her without turning around. "It's black. Do you think you can pull it out for me?"

Without a word, Sai stood up from the bed and toed his way through the ocean of undone laundry and pulled open the small closet door. Inside he found an empty shoe rack (empty, because most of the shoes were scattered around the floor) and a bare rod that was meant to hold clothes; it only held a few lonely hangers and purses, but that was all.

On the floor of the closet, back in the corner he found the requested black suitcase. He bent down and dragged it out.

"Thanks," Sakura said, once he'd managed to haul it over to her. The thing had wheels on it, but the idea of them was completely useless when trying to move through this clutter.

The pinkette grabbed the folded clothes she'd set out for herself and after pulling open the zipper to the larger compartment, she stuffed them inside.

_Wouldn't they get wrinkled like that?_ Well, if she liked wrinkled clothes…

"I'm going to get a few things from the bathroom, so I'll be right back," she told the ANBU. He nodded once in reply, and then watched her disappear through a second door in the room.

Sai's attention shifted back to the rest of the bedroom, making his version of a disgusted face until his eyes settled on to the edge of the dresser where Sakura had been moments ago. There, turned slightly enough to face the window, was the same picture he had seen in the hallway. He couldn't understand why she had the same picture twice, except for maybe it was just that important to her and she wanted to look at it often. Kakashi had similar pictures all scattered along the bookshelves in his house, and for the most part, they were very similar to the ones Sakura had. Maybe they all received copies of them on the day they were taken.

ROOT never did anything like that. Sure, they took a picture of you on the day that you were admitted but it went into your file, and trust me; you were not wearing a happy face. In fact—

"I think that's about it," Sakura emerged from the bathroom with a handful of things. Sai's eyes followed her as she went over to the suitcase and stuffed them into smaller compartment and then zipped it up.

"Are you positive that you have everything you need?" he asked the pinkette when she picked up the bag and dropped it to the floor with a heavy thud. She stared down at it thoughtfully for a moment.

"Yeah, I think this is everything," she replied. She began to drag the suitcase behind her to the door, and turned when she realized Sai wasn't following her again. "Well…are you coming?"

Sai lifted himself from the bed and walked out of the room behind her. He glanced back at the messy room and the picture on the dresser once more before closing gently closing the door.

**xXx**

Sai's apartment was closer within the vicinity of the village, so the two did not have far to walk. This was a good thing, because Sakura's arms were starting to get tired from pulling the giant suitcase along with her; she never realized just how out of shape she was until now.

Several times, her ANBU escort had offered to carry it for her, but she claimed it was fine and she could handle it herself. Of course, that wasn't the truth and it was obvious. Sai wasn't too keen on allowing the woman to have such a potential weapon on her, but he kept his mouth closed in case she realized what just what it could be used for.

As they walked up the apartment stairs and down the hall, Sai extracted a set of keys from his pocket and stopped at the door second to last, and went to unlock it. Seeing that they had finally reached their destination, Sakura pulled the bag closer to the door and waited near the wall until it was open.

Unlike Sakura's house, which was usually freezing, Sai's little apartment was quite warm. The kunoichi had no particular complaints about this, as she'd just spent nearly an entire week in a freezing cold hospital.

Sai allowed his new house mate inside first, and once she was in, he closed the door behind himself. "You can bring your things to my room, if you would like," he suggested. After dropping the bag near the door, the pinkette heaved an exhausted and then looked around.

"Your room?" she repeated. The ANBU left the small hallway and disappeared into another room. Abandoning her luggage, she followed after him.

The next area led from a tiny dining room into a kitchen, where she found Sai leaning against the counter and standing slightly on his tip toes to reach a cupboard. Once he grabbed onto the handle, he brought down two cups and set them on the counter.

"I am going to make some tea. Please go ahead and get yourself situated and I will call you when it is done," he said, when he noticed Sakura standing there. The pinkette nodded once and then turned back to the hall, grabbing her luggage before wandering off into the next room.

**xXx**

Sakura stopped at the end of the short hall once she reached what appeared to be Sai's room. Well…she was sure that's what it was meant to be, but it looked like it was being used for something entirely different instead.

There had to be at least twenty different easels in total.

They were all cluttered together in the tiny makeshift bedroom, facing different directions and baring some sort of beautifully painted canvas. Setting her bag down carefully in the doorway, the pinkette weaved through the maze of tripods to survey a particular painting standing off on the corner by itself.

It was a portrait of a luminous, navy blue sky adorned with a large, softly glowing white moon. Tiny glittering stars randomly dotted the painted midnight expanse, and trailed down to an assortment of barren, spindly-branched trees. A violet-colored butterfly was painted up-close and off to the side of the canvas as if it were in mid-flight of taking off to the sky.

Sakura had never seen something so breath-takingly beautiful…

Allured and curious, she lifted her hand as if to touch the painting, but dropped it to her side when she realized it was still wet. The shuffling of feet and someone entering the room pulled her out of her trance and she turned to see Sai standing in the doorway.

"That is the third one this week," he explained, almost sadly. His stared at the painting she had just been admiring and then lifted the cup in his hand. "The tea is done,"

"The third one?" Sakura repeated, dismissing his side comment. She glanced back at the easel.

"You painted this right?"

"That's correct," he said, and then gestured to the other easels around them. "I painted them all. None of them are how I wanted them to look though…I am not sure what I'm doing wrong,"

It was only then, that Sakura took a good look around the rest of the room to see that the others, like the painting she had found to be so beautiful, all withheld similar pictures. Each one was altered just a bit, with something missing, or rearranged. She wondered if the image had come straight from Sai's imagination or if he spent his time in this unknown area and painted it whenever he went for a visit.

Sai crossed the room and placed the cup of tea in Sakura's hand, but her thoughts were still lost on the mysterious art. When she felt the cup warming her palm, she looked down and stared into the rising vapor; it smelled nice. She told him so.

"Thank you," he replied politely, watching her take a tentative sip. The rich taste of apples and cinnamon enchanted her taste buds and she closed her eyes as the warmth traveled through her body. When she opened them, Sai was readjusting the position of the drying canvas on the easel. After placing it the way that he wanted it, he turned back to her and glanced down at her bag. She spoke before he could ask her about it.

"Um…this is your room right? Where do you sleep in all of…" she gestured to the disorderliness.

"I don't," he replied, casting aside the fact that, back at her place he might as well have asked her the same thing. "I sleep in the front room,"

"Right, but…then…" the kunoichi trailed off, not quite understanding where she was expected to stay in all of this. Did he intend for her to sleep here? She hadn't even slept in her own bed since it'd become a mess at the time of…

She didn't want to think about that right now.

"I have an extra futon. I'll sleep on the couch and you can take that," the ANBU answered. He set his tea on the edge of his dresser and then made his way over to a door on the far side of the room.

"I'm going to have a shower now, so please make yourself at home until I return," he insisted, while running his fingers through his still sticky hair. They had tried to get most of it out before they left Sakura's house, but to no real avail.

"Alright," Sakura agreed. After he disappeared into the bathroom, and she heard the door shut, she set down her tea beside his and strolled over to the lone painting again. Sai had positioned it so that it faced the open window where it would dry quicker. Looking at it again made her realize why it was so attractive.

She _had_ seen it before; the place where she had met _him_ for this first time; it was _that_ place.

_Flashback_

"_Sakura!" a voice interrupted Sakura in the middle of the book she was reading. Reluctantly, she lowered the novel into her lap and squinted against the bright sunlight shining over the horizon above the calm ocean waves. Naruto was swinging one arm around, waving to her excitedly while his other was wrapped around Sasuke's shoulders, pulling him out of the water._

"_What is it?" she asked doubtfully, as she watched the two boys stumbled out of the shallow waves and onto the sand. Sasuke dropped onto the beach towel she had set out for herself under her umbrella and reached for the bottle of water sitting near her bag._

"_S-Sasuke! Hey, that's my—"_

_The raven smirked up at her as he unscrewed the cap and lifted the bottle to his lips; the water was gone within a second._

"_Aw, man…"_

"_Sorry," he said unapologetically, a teasing look marring his handsome features when he tossed the empty plastic container onto the towel and then stood to stretch. _

"_We're going down to the consession stand," Naruto announced, while brushing the excess sand from his tanned body and orange shorts. "Is there anything you want, Sakura?"_

_The kunoichi thought for a moment. All she'd managed to get into her stomach today was a piece of toast, before her boys had come to her house and dragged her down to the beach this morning. Her stomach growled anxiously at the thought of food._

"_Sakura?"_

"_Um, I'll pass for now," she decided. Sakura lifted the empty bottle of water and held it out to Sasuke. "But, you _could_ get me another bottle of water? You totally owe me,"_

"_Sure, whatever," Sasuke smirked, and grabbed the bottle away. _

_After the two boys left, Sakura picked up her novel again and began to read it. She was giggling to herself at a part she thought was funny, looking for all the world just as mischievous as her sensei when she found him huddled in a corner reading one of his smutty Icha Icha books, when suddenly a voice of warning rang out._

"_Hey! Watch out!"_

_Dropping the book into her lap, Sakura shifted her body out of the way just in time to avoid a beach ball hitting her square in the face. A small boy in swim shorts ran up, grabbed the ball off the towel and then skipped away at the sound of his mother's beckoning voice._

"_Damnit…Now I've lost my place," the kunoichi mumbled, pulling herself up and digging the book out of the sand. She flipped through the pages, and swept the grains of sand away from each of them._

_So far, it seemed as though Sakura wasn't going to get any reading done today; not unless she moved to another area. Glancing around, she searched for an unoccupied place on the beach, safe from the range of beach balls or water-bottle-stealers. Her eyes found a small area near the very end of the left side, an almost secluded little section tapering off from a patch of trees to the sand and leading out into the water. _

_A small smile came to her lips when she decided it was perfect. _

_Getting up from her place and dusting herself up, the pinkette grabbed her book and began to make her way over to her new found haven. She began to wonder if she should have stayed until her boys returned, but dismissed the thought when she realized they probably wouldn't even notice._

_xXx_

_The late afternoon was turning into early evening, and the warmth from the lasting glow of the sun was beginning to fade. The powdery white sand had grown from hot to slightly cold under Sakura's feet and there was a slight chill on the breeze that carried through the canopy of small palm trees. After the kunoichi found a comfortable spot, she sat down and opened her book. Finally; a quiet place to read…_

"_OW!"_

_Sakura jumped with a start after suddenly feeling something kick her right above the ass. Turning the upper half of her body around, she looked behind her, hands pressed firmly into the sand. _

_Her eyes narrowed incredulously when she saw a leg half exposed in the underbrush behind her. It kicked again, and this time she crawled onto her knees and grabbed it, and dragged it out of the woods._

"_Hey! Do you mind?" a husky, irritated male voice exclaimed. He jerked his leg away as soon as he had the chance and sat up, rubbing his eye. Sakura stared at the dark haired boy with a combination of anger and disbelief marring her features. _

_What, had he been _sleeping_ up until now?_

"Yeah_, I minded when you were kicking me in the ass a second ago. Just what the hell gives a person the idea that it's okay to just sleep on the beach, let alone in a secluded area like this?"_

_The pony-tailed nin regarded her with a scowl, dark eyes still bleary from his recent comatose state. "Well _excuse me_, lady," he dusted himself off and then got to his feet. "I happen to do just whatever the hell I please. If I wanna to sleep at the edge of the beach, then I will—"_

"—_In the _bushes_," Sakura corrected, sitting back down in the sand again and reclaiming her book. She turned her back to him and flipped through the novel for the dog-eared page, where she had left off. The lazy young man watched her become submersed in the novel, and after realizing she was lost on him as if he'd never been there, he grumbled and trudged away._

"_Well, whatever,"_

_Whatever?_

_Sakura slammed her book closed and dropped it in the sand by her feet. _What a jerk _she grumbled inwardly, watching him walk away. Her hands pressed into the sand at her sides until she felt something hard and ridgid biting beneath her left palm. Half startled, she lifted it and smirked when she saw what it was. Her green eyes flitted mischeviously to the man who was now at considerable distance away from her, scratching the back of his inky black hair. _

_The kunoichi scooped up the pink shell from the ground and tossed it through the air; it hit the nape of the man's neck with perfect precision. _

"_Ow!" was the next thing she heard, and then the man wheeled around to fix her with a dark, bleary glare. Sakura only grinned back, looking for all the world just as satisfied and guilty as she was._

"_What the hell was that for?"_

"_Oh, I think you know," the pinkette replied, crossing her arms and reclaiming her irritated look. "I can't read my book when I'm not in a good mood, so you're going to have to stay here and keep me company now,"_

_The man made a face. "What a dumb excuse. I've got things to do, so I'll be going now. Thanks for the offer though," he said, and began to walk away again._

"_Oh? Like what?" the kunoichi shot back before he could get any farther away. She hardly believed a man who laid around sleeping so carelessly in a place like this did anything rationale with his time._

_Slowly, the nin turned and slipped his hands into his pockets. He studied her for a moment, as if trying to decide whether he cared enough to make a smart remark._

"_Hm. Guess nothing…" Sakura smirked triumphantly. He made a sound of reluctance and then she watched him stroll back to her. When he sat down beside her, Sakura scooted further so there was a comfortable distance apart from them, and then turned her gaze where it followed his. _

_The placid waves of the translucent, teal-colored ocean lapped forth and pulled the sand in with it, leaving the powdery white smooth and wet as it receded. Sakura closed her eyes and drew her knees in to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. She could smell the faint scent of sea salt on the ocean spray, and feel the small, cool sprinkles of water as the waves rolled and crashed, lightly hitting her skin. _

_Finding comfort in both their silence and the scenery, she yawned and rested her chin against her knee. Maybe she would have even nodded off and slept right there, if it hadn't been for the voice that reminded her she wasn't alone._

"_Hey,"_

"_Hm?"_

_The kunoichi's lids flew opened and her eyes were immediately assaulted by the golden glare of the setting sun. She narrowed them and tilted her head to look at the boy sitting beside her. _

"_What is it?"_

"_Don't you have some place to be?"_

_Some place to be? He was asking _her_ this? _

Well, _that_ was rude…but…

"_I do," she admitted, and then turned her head away. The sparkling light dancing on the ripples of the water attracted her attention. Like tiny, glowing fairies frolicking across wavering glass, it had moved and transcended to moonlight before their eyes._

"_Oh?" the young man asked. He stretched out on his back in the sand and folded his hands behind his head. After he'd said nothing for a long time, Sakura assumed he had fallen asleep again, and was just about to yank him by the pony tail or poke him when suddenly he spoke._

"_So this place…where is it?" he opened his eyes, half-lidded. The moonlight captured the surface of them and shone upon it like small silvery dimes._

_The pinkette stared down at him thoughtfully for a minute and then looked up to see the clouds rolling by. For a brief instant, they were shrouded in shadows, and when the moon re-emerged the nin was smirking up at her._

"_A place…well…" Sakura smiled at the question, and then re-adjusted herself on the sand so that she was closer to him and began to explain._

_She told him about Naruto and Sasuke; her boys. How they'd dragged her to the beach earlier that morning and how Sasuke had stolen her water; about how she'd nearly been struck in the face with a beach ball. She told him about how she had snuck off to find a quiet place to read and hadn't seen them since. _

_There were places in her story where she thought he would ask her questions, but they never came. The lazy man simply nodded, eyes closed, or intently fixed on the darkening sky. _

_When she was done, he opened them._

"_Hm," was all he said, and then sat up._

"_Well?" Sakura said expectantly, now waiting to hear the reason why _he_ had been there; the _real_ one. Surely, there had to be another reason why he was out here all alone in such a secluded area, where he could have easily been swept away by the tide. _

_The man arched an eyebrow when she continued to stare at him, relentless in getting an answer to her question. Finally, with a troubled sigh he lay back down and threaded his fingers on top of his stomach._

"_I was sleeping, okay?"_

"_Sleeping," Sakura repeated scornfully. The man slapped a palm to his forehead and rolled over. _

"_Yeah, woman. Can't a guy get some peace and quiet away from all those noisy children? You weren't the only one, you know,"_

_The kunoichi opened her mouth to argue, but she found that she couldn't. _

"_Still…" she mumbled, poking a hole in the sand with a small stick that had washed up earlier. "…What were you doing before you fell asleep?"_

_The nin rolled onto the other shoulder and began to draw lazy circles in the grains with his index finger. _

"_Watching," was all he said._

_Sakura waited to hear more, and when she didn't she simply frowned at the boy's anti-climatic explanation. She dragged the stick across the ground and jabbed the boy in the side with it._

"_Hey!" he jerked away and then rolled over to glare at her. "You're kind of annoying me…"_

_Sakura smirked and replied with equal disdain, "So are you, Mr. One-Worded-Answer-Man. Now tell me what you were watching,"_

_The sleepy nin drew in a long breath and let it out in a wary sigh. He sat up, having finally been defeated and then wrapped his arms around his legs much in the same position as hers. Again, his eyes lifted to the sky, as though searching through the light blue clouds that were outlined and still glowing against the starless expanse. _

"_Sometimes," he began. "I come out here when I don't have a mission. As a shinobi, I don't get to really stop and see things like the sun set, or the moon rising, y'know?"_

_Sakura nodded knowingly; he continued._

"_It might not seem like a really big deal, but we see these things everyday and we don't really give them much attention; we don't really think about them,"_

"_And you do?" Sakura leaned forward, hugging her knees. She tried to get a better look at his expression, but it was hard to see, half shadowed by darkness and bathed in the cold light._

"…_I used to. Lately it's all I've been able to think about," _

_A warm, gentle breeze rolled over the beach and set their hair fluttering under its ministration. _

_Silence passed between them, and Sakura leaned forward to see that the nin's eyes were fixed on the sky again. She stared up at it curiously, but she failed to see anything out of the ordinary about it. Why was he so fascinated by it? Was there something she wasn't seeing?_

"_Why?" was all she asked._

_It was probably a dumb question, and he probably didn't know the answer himself. Her voice rang out softly in the silence that settled between them, and when he didn't respond she began to shift uncomfortably. Maybe she'd even offended him._

"_I don't know," came his answer, finally. He stretched out his legs and lay back on the sand again with his hands folded over his chest. "Some days I barely notice and sometimes I can't stop thinking about it. But it feels like…" he paused and a small huff of self-doubt fell from his lips. Sakura looked down at him questioningly until he opened his eyes and stared up at her. _

_They exchanged weighted gazes, uncertain of whether one wanted to give an answer, or if the other was that interested in hearing it. Finally, the lazy nin sighed; he had to give her credit for being so persistent._

"…_it feels like time is slowing down right here. Changing…more slowly,"_

"_Here?" Sakura looked around, searching for any signs that might give a hint or tell them that atmosphere surrounding them was doing just that. When she found none, she stared back down at him but found that he was staring up at the sky again, eyes forever or who knew for how long, lost on the sea of peeking stars. _

_Nothing more was said in regards to that conversation. From there on was idle chat, or nothing at all; merely the solacing sound of the waves rising and crashing quietly against the sandy floor, or the hush of the wind brushing gently through the palms of the trees._

_Finally, realizing the time, Sakura stretched her arms and legs out and got to her feet. The ponytailed nin watched her stand with dark, reflective orbs._

"_Leaving already?" he asked, turning his head back to the now obsidian sea. Sakura stared on as the moon shivered along the waves, and then willed herself to look away. Her limbs felt heavy and her body felt tired from sitting in the same position for over an hour. With a soundless yawn, she ran her fingers through her short pink hair and rubbed her eyes tiredly with the sides of her fists._

"_Yeah," she said. "I'll have to walk home alone, though. I'm sure my team mates have already gone off by themselves,"_

_She stared down at him, waiting to see if he would say anything, or even offer to go with her, but wasn't disappointed when he didn't. They barely knew each other, after all._

_She didn't even know his name…_

_With an unsatisfied sigh, the pinkette turned and began to leave, when she felt a hand wrap around her ankle. She paused before she could trip and fall, leg still lifted in mid-step, and she looked to see the boy with his arm extended. He wasn't even looking at her! Even now!_

"_What is it…?" Sakura asked uncertainly. When she spoke, she felt the nin's firm grip release her, and she lowered her foot to the ground._

"_What I told you," he said, his tone a low timbre. Sakura stood with her arms crossed over her chest, shivering beneath the mismatched bikini and sarong she was wearing. She was starting to think he wasn't going to say anything more, but once again he surprised her within the next moment._

"…_You won't think about it," _

_Was it a question? A statement? This guy was so vague. The kunoichi let out a shaky sigh, half due to the cold and half due to her impatience with this person._

"_No. I probably won't," was all she said, and then turned to trudge off towards the other side of the beach, leaving the man she had spent the last hour talking about nothing in particular with, laying in the exact same position that she had found him in._

_The rest of the beach was otherwise vacant, given that it was long past early evening, let alone afternoon, and the swimmers, surfboarders, and everyone else had all gone home. The sound of Sakura's sandaled feet shuffling across the sandy boardwalk was deafening to her own ears, but it did not distress the thoughts of the recent conversation that were replaying themselves in her mind._

"…_it feels like time is slowing down right here. Changing…more slowly"_

_Right here? Right _where_? _That guy had to be on something…

Whatever_…the kunoichi shook her head as she reached the block where she lived. She slipped her hand into her bag and withdrew a set of keys, ready to unlock her door. _

_After unlocking the front door, Sakura dropped her keys into her bag. She paused when her hand came out to reach for the knob. _

Just once_…she thought, fingers trembling as they came to rest on the silver knob. She dropped her hand to her side and gave the tiniest of glances over her shoulder. What she was expecting to see behind it, was unknown even to herself._

_The sky around her was pinned with stars, colors blending into awing shades of purples and blues. She stared at it willfully; waiting for the smallest change to happen within those few seconds._

_But there was none._

_Feeling half disappointed and half relieved, the pinkette turned back to the door, twisted the knob and opened it. The dark and coldness of her house welcomed her. It enveloped her and she gave a small shiver as she slipped inside. _

_What had she been thinking, anyway? Silly girl._

_Time will never seem to change; _when you're watching it_._

_End Flashback_

Sakura frowned and reached out to gently swipe her fingers across the very surface of the painting; it had begun to dry since Sai had moved it to face the sun.

After another beat of silence, she heard the shower stop running. Giving the canvas one last glance, the pinkette grabbed her tea and walked out of the room.

Time had changed, and she hadn't thought about it once.

Slowly…but not slowly enough.

**xXx**

**A/N: **Urghhh, you guys. I've been dragging this chapter out the entire week and let me tell you why. My muse is pretty much divided into several different things right now, involving a major portion of my creativity; I'm not really liking that, but I think now that I'm past this chapter I'll be fine. It took a lot more for me to include the encounter between Sakura and Shikamaru, but I did promise he would be here. You will see him a little less than frequently but he will be in a couple more flash backs, annnd…another in place that I won't be telling you right now ^^;;

I'm going to be honest, writing ShikaSaku in this story is a lot harder than doing it in the one shot that I wrote. If only there were more ShikaSaku to inspire meeeeee…too bad there isn't…

-cough-

Well, this is about 5.9k words…I'm sorry it's so long, but I hope it will make up for the lack of my...-brain dies- Sorry it's like 2am. Anyway, you guys are so awesome! Oh, and…expect some silly things to happen in the next chapter…haha

Until next time!

**~Smiles**


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